Benster and D Pick Your Games---Enough With Friday Gopher Games Edition

Seriously, why are the Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat still playing on Friday nights? It's like the Big Ten wants to have PJ row that boat early.

Fair question. Night time boat rides for the Gophers are often like this:

Robert Mitchum with his knife isn't that much different than Kirk Ferentz, I suppose.

I knew you'd have a great non-sequitur movie reference, old dude! That one is even older than your usual silliness. But still, the state government did cancel youth sports so the Gophers won't compete against high school football. I'll stop right there as I don't have a desire to turn this into a political Very Special Comment.

All your comments are special, Benster. 

Well, yeah. We shall see how the Badgers and Packers do against good opponents. I am feeling the HYYYYYPPPEEEE! and it is time to watch me work.

Purdon't Spoilermakers (-3) vs. Minnesota Golden Elite Rowers of the Boat PJ Fleck can keep on coming up with new sayings and motivational tactics that involve reading odd kid books, but it can't hide the fact that the Gophers have been struggling. Purdue has looked fairly good, and it sounds like Rondale Moore might be making a return. Yeah, things are not going to end well. PJ might want to row the boat before it gets rowed for him. Timeout, Iowa! Timeout, Iowa, Timeout, Iowa! I'm sorry, Kirk Ferentz was interrupting me. The Gophers are going to get lit up. Spoilermakers 35, Row Row Row Your Boat Elitely 0.

Purdue is pretty good. I think the Gophers will play better this week; not sure they could be any worse. But it won't be enough. Purdue 27, Minnesota 17.

Beloved Wisconsin Badgers (-7.5) vs. Northwestern Wildcats This game is going to have massive implications as to who will be going to Indy. Let's get one thing perfectly clear. Saturday is my birthday, and I would love a win as a birthday present. The Badgers looked great against Michigan in the Big House, and will be getting more guys back from Kevin Warren's dumb rules. But this line is too high in favor of the Badgers. Northwestern always plays the Badgers tough, they are incredibly well coached, and the Badgers struggle every time they play at Ryan Field. But this is a weird year, and this Badger team is on a mission. Badgers 31, Wildcats 23.

So the line is too high, but you're picking the Badgers to beat it? Interesting. Trips to Evanston are the football equivalent of a root canal. Badgers are more talented. It will be a struggle. Badgers 28, Northwestern 24.

Indiana Hoosiers (+20.5) vs. A School In Columbus The other big game in the Big Ten this week that will determine who will be going to Indy. A School In Columbus being involved in this game is no surprise at all. Indiana being involved is a surprise. Tom Allen has built up the program into a team, and they are legitimate threats to the Buckeyes. This line is really disrespectful to the Hooisers. It will take everything they have to beat the Buckeyes, but I would love to see the fanbase have a meltdown in Columbus. Windiana 31, A School in Columbus 0.

Obligatory:

Indiana has really improved. I think they're an excellent team. But Ohio State is at another level. Not yet, Hoosiers. Ohio State 34, Indiana 20.

Dallas How Bout Them Cowboahs (+7) vs. Minnesota Vikings The Cowboys have been an absolute dumpster fire this year even before they lost Dak. They only beat the Falcons because of terrible special teams play on an onside kick, and beat the Giants because NFC East. Why does this division get a home playoff game is beyond me, and needs to be looked at. The Vikings have suddenly gotten hot, and Packers fans have to root for the Cowboys in order to stay ahead in the NFC North. I really hate the Cowboys, and it is because of the ridiculous fanbase and the media cheerleading. I will do so with a strong need to take a shower and wearing a hazmat suit. I hate to do this, but I might have to even agree with Skip Bayless. How Bout Them Cowboahs 35, Vikings 14.

Cowboys are terrible. Vikings are not. Vikings 31, Cowboys 13.

Glorious Green Bay Packers (+2) vs. Indianapolis Colts Fox really screwed over those Packers fans in Minnesota and the western part of Wisconsin when they flexed the game to the late window. Because the NFL can't have the Cowboys play at noon, I have to find alternative measures to watch the Packers, and listen to Troy Aikman ruin yet another Packer game with his "color commentary" and hatred of Aaron Rodgers. Thanks a bunch, Fox. Why couldn't you have sent them to the Vikings game? Now that I am done ranting about NFL flex scheduling, we can talk about the game. The Packers played horribly against the Jags, but this time are in a dome and could get some of their injured back. The Colts are going to be a challenge. They have played well, and are leading the AFC South. The key is to get some pressure on Phillip Rivers and to get off to a better start. Plus, the Packers have played their best games in domed stadiums. This will be difficult, but doable. Packers 28, Colts 20.

Aaron Rodgers has played beautifully in domes this year. The Colts can play defense, but I think the Good Packers show up this time. Packers 31, Colts 24.

Enjoy your football this weekend. Ben out.