I'm hard pressed to think of what this woman could say about Newt that would be any worse than what we already know about the guy. I mean, it's well established that he's a narcissist, a blowhard and that he has a difficult time controlling his genitalia, which was standard presidential behavior in the 1990s, of course. So what could she tell us that we don't already know? Let's make this a contest and solicit your guesses. I'll throw out a few possibilities to get things started:
- Newt killed a puppy with his bare hands
- Newt did the voiceover work in the 1980s for the Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear ad campaign
- Newt was once a roadie for Uriah Heep
- Newt left Marianne because of a torrid affair/love triangle involving Garry Trudeau and Barbara Mikulski
- Newt actually is the Antichrist
- Newt never once offered Marianne the opportunity to "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
- Newt is actually the Red Squirrel and has abandoned his presidential bid to run for Mayor of the MOB
I'll stop now before this becomes a NIGP Top 11 List. Weigh in!