QUESTION: Which ONE (no more, no less)of your fellow mayoral candidates is the least suitable to be MOB Mayor? Please explain why this person would be an embarrassment / pose an existential threat to the art of blogging / just sucks in general. DIFFICULTY: You may NOT use capital letters, punctuation and the letter 'b'.if you are wondering why grammar and rules of punctuation do not seem to apply that is why
this makes posting like writing an e e cummings poem only far worse
rules also take early plan to answer question channeling saturday morning cartoon favorite mushmouth out of play
a warning you should know link is actively annoying so dont click it whatever you do
anyway lets answer the question
definitely tough to denounce one candidate since his name includes letter not used
he wont win anyway though so to hell with him not worth our time
could denounce red squirrel guy however old rule states never punch down
and red squirrel is so down that foot mocks him with impunity
denouncing ecker is dangerous since he remains heavily armed
that leaves night writer
tough guy to denounce however this is the game so game on
night writer really doesnt suck although he does have suspect facial hair
he claims title master of sausages
current presidential administration does not approve of sausages
night writer might participate in witness protection program
this would explain suspect facial hair
night writer is a highly skilled writer although he shills for evil corporate interests
that is the word on the street anyway
no cant use occupy wall street rhetoric that is icky
his wife and daughters are lovely people hard to ding him for that
his son in law is a lutheran minister
a fellow could face hell fire for making fun of lutheran ministers
some reason must exist for night writer denunciation
foot suggested existentialism so we could use jean paul sartre
hell is other night writers
no that makes no sense and there is nothing wrong with night writers teeth so sartre comparison wont work
could channel j d salinger and go all holden caufield on his tuchus which might work
perhaps night writer is a phony
no thats silly
or we could try monty python
his father was a hamster and his mother smelled of
no cant use that word either
perhaps cheech and chong
his mamas talkin to night writer
she tells him how to live
he dont listen to her
his head is like a sieve
that seems to work
night writer is so old he played that song at his senior prom and lived it too
although drag queen incident cheech and chong make reference to is well hidden from view
yes night writer is actually j edgar hoover and is in witness protection program
cant vote for someone like that
it would put his life in danger
in conclusion night writer is very shadowy and has suspect facial hair
he does not deserve your support
if he offers you a sausage he is not happy to see you
run the other way
seriously
thats it
thank you very much
5 comments:
actually this reads a little like a gino post
you know what
making fun of lutheran ministers is sometimes just the right thing to do even i do it surreptitiously
night writer guy is shady when there are clouds
i was thinking the same
i thought id wrote on one of my grander days
as a child i knew a lutheran minister who turned into my friend
thirty years later my friend turned into a lutheran minister
there is a parallel there
i dont know what it is
Actually, the Cheech and Chong line that is most appropriate right now is, "I always been dribbling."
My closing argument is up:
http://koolaidreport.blogspot.com/2012/01/2011-2012-mayoral-debate-series_12.html
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