Thursday, January 12, 2012

mayoral race question 3

the final question is posed

QUESTION: Which ONE (no more, no less)of your fellow mayoral candidates is the least suitable to be MOB Mayor? Please explain why this person would be an embarrassment / pose an existential threat to the art of blogging / just sucks in general. DIFFICULTY: You may NOT use capital letters, punctuation and the letter 'b'.
if you are wondering why grammar and rules of punctuation do not seem to apply that is why

this makes posting like writing an e e cummings poem only far worse

rules also take early plan to answer question channeling saturday morning cartoon favorite mushmouth out of play

a warning you should know link is actively annoying so dont click it whatever you do

anyway lets answer the question

definitely tough to denounce one candidate since his name includes letter not used

he wont win anyway though so to hell with him not worth our time

could denounce red squirrel guy however old rule states never punch down

and red squirrel is so down that foot mocks him with impunity

denouncing ecker is dangerous since he remains heavily armed

that leaves night writer

tough guy to denounce however this is the game so game on

night writer really doesnt suck although he does have suspect facial hair

he claims title master of sausages

current presidential administration does not approve of sausages

night writer might participate in witness protection program

this would explain suspect facial hair

night writer is a highly skilled writer although he shills for evil corporate interests

that is the word on the street anyway

no cant use occupy wall street rhetoric that is icky

his wife and daughters are lovely people hard to ding him for that

his son in law is a lutheran minister

a fellow could face hell fire for making fun of lutheran ministers

some reason must exist for night writer denunciation

foot suggested existentialism so we could use jean paul sartre

hell is other night writers

no that makes no sense and there is nothing wrong with night writers teeth so sartre comparison wont work

could channel j d salinger and go all holden caufield on his tuchus which might work

perhaps night writer is a phony

no thats silly

or we could try monty python

his father was a hamster and his mother smelled of

no cant use that word either

perhaps cheech and chong

his mamas talkin to night writer
she tells him how to live
he dont listen to her
his head is like a sieve

that seems to work
night writer is so old he played that song at his senior prom and lived it too
although drag queen incident cheech and chong make reference to is well hidden from view
yes night writer is actually j edgar hoover and is in witness protection program

cant vote for someone like that
it would put his life in danger

in conclusion night writer is very shadowy and has suspect facial hair
he does not deserve your support

if he offers you a sausage he is not happy to see you
run the other way

thats it
thank you very much


Mr. D said...

actually this reads a little like a gino post

W.B. Picklesworth said...

you know what

making fun of lutheran ministers is sometimes just the right thing to do even i do it surreptitiously

night writer guy is shady when there are clouds

Gino said...

i was thinking the same

i thought id wrote on one of my grander days

as a child i knew a lutheran minister who turned into my friend

thirty years later my friend turned into a lutheran minister

there is a parallel there

i dont know what it is

Night Writer said...

Actually, the Cheech and Chong line that is most appropriate right now is, "I always been dribbling."

Night Writer said...

My closing argument is up: