Thursday, May 13, 2010

Guilty Pleasures Part Sixty-Eight: Where the Boys Are

Fearless Maria has a question for the audience:

Why are there so many songs about girls? Doesn't anyone write songs about boys? Or are the boys too gross to write about? No offense, Dad!

None taken, Maria. I work hard not to be gross and sometimes I even succeed. That's a good question, though -- you could do about a half dozen Guilty Pleasures just naming all the girls that Bruce Springsteen mentions in his songs!

And you didn't even mention Wendy!

That's true, Maria. I didn't. My fingers were getting sore setting up all the links.

Poor Dad! So anyway Dad, are there any songs about boys? We may have to skip Bruce Springsteen, who seems to have girls on the brain and doesn't have any time left for boys! But maybe somebody else does.

Well, sure. There are boys in rock and roll who get a mention. We can go back to just about the very beginning of rock and roll and see perhaps the most famous fellow around, a country boy named:

Chuck Berry could play guitar just like ringing a bell himself, huh? Do you think that Chuck was really singing about himself?

Some people have thought that, Maria. But mostly I think the song is about the things that Chuck Berry saw growing up in that era. It was a very different time. And just about every guitar player who followed him has used something that Chuck invented.

Well, that's a good place to start, Dad! You do have to start at the beginning, right? That's the message you're giving me.

There's a message, all right. And sometimes the message is delivered a little differently; try this message from Dionne Warwick from about 1965 or so:

Why would a bluebird fly away and give a message to Michael? Was he trying to send a message to Michael Jackson? He'd need a crystal ball or something instead! I think that Dionne Warwick is a little confused and maybe the bluebird took a left turn in Albuquerque.

Dionne Warwick has been very confused over the years about such things, Maria. More than you'll ever know. But let's move on, shall we?

Just stay away from Albuquerque, Dad!

Okay, how about Detroit instead?

Detroit? Why would we go there, Dad? I thought you and Mr. HYYYYYPPE (that would be Benster) hated Detroit because of their terrible football team, the Lions!

It's not hate, Maria. It's pity. But if you want good music, Detroit is a good place to go, After all, that's where you'd find Martha and the Vandellas:

I do like that song, Dad, but Martha and the Vandellas look like the B-52s! That's probably not going to help them find too many boys, unless it did back then. Do you know anything about that?

Not really; I was about 3 or 4 when that song was on the radio and if any girls had B-52s, I wasn't really paying much attention. I had my blocks instead.

Dad, that sounds like a mental block. But anyway, I thought of a song! Mr. HYYYPE just walked through here and it reminded me of something. Maybe Dionne Warwick's message to Michael was about this song:

Dad, I think you ought to get Mr. HYYYPE a suit like the one Michael Jackson is wearing in that video. I'm sure it would get him a lot of attention at school!

No, I wouldn't want to do that, Maria.

Why not?

I'm afraid that if one of the buses saw the lapels on the suit, they'd think it was a parking space and try to park on top of Ben. That wouldn't work so well.

Good point, Dad! I can tell we're getting into the 70s because the clothes are getting more ridiculous again. So what's next on the street of terrible clothes?

Why don't you choose from these two fine looks, both from 1972-73 or so, and both featuring some silly boys singing about boys:

Dad, that's a real good battle between silly shiny yellow pants and silly shiny blue pants. For me, I think I like the "Brother Louie" guys a little better because you can't see all their bad outfits, but they are a little more creepy looking than the "Little Willy" guys, who seemed to be wearing Hannah Montana wigs 20 years before she was born! You don't make my life easy, do you, Dad? Maybe the audience will have an opinion on that. You can put it with your vote. But we're not done yet! We've still got one more song!

Actually, two. This time we're going to have battling Rudys!

Battling Rudys? Huh? You aren't including Uncle Paul's dog in this, are you? He's too cute to get into a fight on a blog!

No, I'm thinking of two songs from around 1979 that had Rudys in them.

Well, neither of them really had bad clothing, but I'm not sure about the guys who jump around like they're on broken pogo sticks. But whoever this Rudy guy is, he's getting a lot of attention!

No question about that. Have you seen enough boys for one night?

Yes, Dad. Now let's ask everyone to pick their favorite in the comments section. Not just the song, pick your favorite clothing, too. I know you want to pick the guy in the yellow pants, but I really hope you don't. Or maybe you've picked up my Dad's mental block!


Night Writer said...

Don't forget "Timothy" by The Bouys? Or, if you can't stomach that one, "Daniel" by Elton John.

CousinDan54915 said...

Daniel my brother.............

Anonymous said...

Luka by Suzanne Vega, and of course Your so vain, by Carly Simon, although apparently Warren Beauty wasn't the target.