Sitzer Park Blues

Doesn't really matter what they do, our Arden Hills Brewers can't get over the hump. Ben's Brew Crew took consecutive thumpings from the Rockies (not Maria's team) over the weekend, losing 25-5 and 13-4. The first game, played Thursday night, was about as demoralizing a game as I have ever seen. Unlike the lower levels of Little League, there's no five-run rule for each inning, which means an ineffective pitcher has to take a beating until he is either removed or the other team makes three outs. On Thursday, our kids took a tremendous, merciless beating - every ball the Rockies hit was a laser beam. They have one kid on their team who has to be the biggest 12-year old I've ever seen; the kid was about 6-1 and had to go about 175. I didn't check to see if he was shaving, but it was pretty amazing to watch this huge pre-teen clobber the ball, one majestic blast after another. Luckily, our guys are resilient, even though they've been getting clobbered in ways that Charles Schulz would have recognized. What's especially bizarre is that the American League is where the more modestly talented kids are supposed to play. If this Leviathan isn't good enough to play in the more competitive National League, you have to wonder what the NL is like. Amazing.

Ben continues to contribute offensively, getting on base, stealing and scoring. We continue to hold out hope that some time it will get better, but it looks like another long season.

Meanwhile, Maria's team is still on the schneid, too, but they are playing better. They lost to the Mets on Thursday at Lambert Park, 16-11. It was a much better performance and she and her teammates are improving every game. I think they'll win soon. Maria made a nice defensive play in the game and also put the ball in play, but the first baseman made a nice play and got her out. I expect to see Maria get her first hit soon, though - she plays hard and she's getting close.

Lots more baseball this week - games on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I'll try to catch you up at some point.

Retrieving normality

Every day I get a little bit more of my life back. Today was one of those days. I went to see my neurosurgeon (technically, his nurse practitioner) and my endocrinologist this morning. Things are progressing very well, thank you very much. I am close to having some of the restrictions taken off my activities. I am able to drive now and to work, and I've been doing a little bit of both. About the only thing I'm not allowed to do is heavy lifting, which means that my lovely bride continues to have to lug the bags of salt downstairs. That's not good, of course, but she's a fine sport about it.

I'd like to think that I've grown a new appreciation of life since my surgery, but I'm not so sure that's the case. I am still the same guy I've always been - generally genial, occasionally surly, prone to the bon mot and (too often) the ill-chosen Anglo-Saxon terms. But I am grateful that I have an opportunity to live my life generally as I see fit. That's a privilege a lot of people don't have in this world.

Brewers/Rockies Update

Baseball is now in full swing and both Ben's and Maria's teams were in action over the last few days. Maria's Rockies played their first two games, losing 12-0 to the Cubs on Wednesday and 20-5 to the Nationals on Friday. The scores sound lopsided, but it really wasn't as bad as you might think. Maria's team is very young - 8 of the 12 players are first graders, and both teams Maria faced were pretty loaded with second graders. At that age, a one year age difference is enormous. The Nationals in particular looked like a bunch of monsters compared to our charges. But the Rockies played pretty well; you could see improvement from the first to the second game and my sense is that her team will win a few games this year. Maria made a nice play in left field in the second game; she has yet to get a hit, but she's up there swinging and she should get on the board soon. The Rockies take the field again Monday against the Reds.

Ben's Brewers had a heart-breaking loss on Thursday to the Rangers, losing 15-11 in a wild game that featured some amazing lead changes. The Rangers jumped to a 4-0 lead, then Ben's Brewers stormed back, scoring 11 unanswered runs to lead 11-4 at the end of the 4th. Unfortunately, the Rangers stormed back in the last two innings and overtook the True Blue Brew Crew. Ben was in the middle of the action; he walked twice, scored twice, stole three bases and knocked in a run in the game. The Brewers will also be playing a team called the Reds, also on Monday. Ben's game is at Wilson Park, while Maria's game will be at Perry Park. Watch this space for updates!

Bartleby the Copywriter

Mr. D has been busy for the past few days. I have a temporary contracting gig with a large equipment retailer located in the south suburbs. They are a growing company that competes with Home Depot, Menards, etc., but whose customer base tends to be more, shall we say, hardcore. I don't believe that Menards offers Ingersoll Rand Rivet Busters for sale, but these folks do. It's fun stuff to write about, even in the circumscribed style required for an equipment catalog. I'm guessing that the pure level of testosterone in the building might throw off my tests with the endocrinologists later this week, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. To give you an idea of what the place is like; when you enter their corporate headquarters, you get the same rubber aroma you notice when you go into one of their stores, or a Fleet Farm. Anyone who has entered such a place knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's a darned good smell, I say.

Life as a contractor is somewhat odd. I have a computer at my disposal, but I am sitting in what is essentially a space full of printers and art production equipment. You know you're among the creative types when there's a container full of Exacto Knives within reach. I find myself toiling away, describing a rivet buster or some NASCAR pit crew gloves when suddenly a grim-visaged person enters, places artwork on a square, measures it, then harrumphs and darts back to some unseen cube.

The gig should last for at least another 2 weeks. This is good news, because we need the money and the money is pretty good. Best of all, the guy I report to is a proud graduate of Cudahy High School. Anyone from the south side of Milwaukee is all right in my book.

Bullets with a nail gun

Sure, why not? A few things the blogger wishes to share, as follows:

• Blogging may be light for the next 2-3 weeks; I have a part-time contracting opportunity starting tomorrow with a south suburban company that offers retail and catalog sales of tools and equipment; this is good news as our finances have been stretched and I have some bills to pay.
• Even though the Star Tribune decided to bury the story under the fold, the story yesterday about the Islamists who were planning an attack on Fort Dix was a major story, for a lot of reasons. First, some of these guys are from Kosovo, a little problem that no one seems to mention these days, even though we continue to have troops there. Second, there's no evidence that these guys were exercised by concerns about the Palestinians or Iraq. And, most of all, they were planning to attack even though they hadn't been in direct contact with Osama bin Laden or any of his operatives. We have a problem with radical Islam and even though the Democrats have convinced many Americans that it's not as big a problem as BushHitlerMcChimpRatBastardTraitorToHisClassSimpyBushHitler or his neocon colleagues would have you believe, it remains a problem. Luckily, our betters are paying attention to more pressing matters, like the size of the mansion Jim Pohlad is building on Lake Calhoun. See Nick Coleman's sneering, green-eyed column today on the topic. Or better yet, don't bother.
• Ben's Brewers may be off to a rough start, but the Milwaukee Brewers are on fire. Unfortunately, they don't get to play the Pirates and the Nationals all the time. The upcoming swing against the Mets and Phillies should tell us a lot about the True Blue Brew Crew.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown

My son loves sports. He must, given the way his teams get pummeled. It was a grim weekend at Sitzer Park for Ben’s Brewers, who were routed twice by the Cardinals, 18-2 and 19-4. A few thoughts amid the wind-blown carnage of the weekend:

• Ben played pretty well for the most part. He ended up 1-4 between the two games, with a well-placed infield single in the second game. He also made a few nice plays at second base, which is clearly his best position. He had a few outfield misadventures in the second game, but overall he’s clearly a better player this year and I’m encouraged by his progress.
• His teammates are really a good group of kids this year. The problem is they are, in the main, modestly talented. The Cardinals team had 2-3 very good players, most notably a large, intimidating starting pitcher who threw four perfect innings in the first game. They also had another hulking youngster who routinely launched balls deep into the early evening sky. The pitcher, who also clearly shops in the husky section, also took out Ben on a play at third base. I’m guessing this kid outweighs Ben by about 50 pounds and he sent Ben flying. It looked like Ty Cobb blasting Jimmy Austin off the base in the 1910s. But Ben dusted himself off and went back to playing. Had to admire that.
• The rules in the American League are less compassionate than they are in the Junior Minor League. The meaning of this is pretty simple – there is no limit to the number of runs that a team can score in an inning, and teams can steal bases pretty much at will. Baseball is a game of rules, but there are also mores involved, too. In my experience, if a team is up by ten runs or more, they won’t keep stealing bases at every opportunity. Someone forgot to mention that to the Cardinals, who were absolutely relentless and ruthless and kept stealing bases, even when they were up by 15 runs or more. There’s an argument to be made that our kids have to stop the other team from doing that, but after a while you have to wonder about the sportsmanship of a team that is stealing bases when it’s already up 17-2. Is that extra run really necessary? Our kids definitely sensed that the other team was rubbing our noses in it. I know this – if our kids find themselves on the winning side of such a situation, we will call off the dogs.
• It was a tough weekend to play baseball weather-wise. The winds were really howling on both Saturday and Sunday; one gust even toppled a Port-O-San at the park. Perhaps the additional ballast on the Cardinal players made a difference; I know that Ben and a few of his similarly slight teammates were really struggling with it at times.
  
  Still, hope springs eternal and the mighty Brewers will return to action on Thursday, May 10 against the Rangers, back at Sitzer Park. Game time is 6:30. Don’t miss it!

Summer of '73

Yesterday's post about childhood friendships, and the subsequent comments, made me think a little bit about what makes a summer memorable. I'm focusing on the summer of 1973 because it was a pretty significant turning point in my life.

I had wheels as a 9 year old - a mustard yellow Huffy Dragster 20" bike with the usual early 70s style, including the banana seat. I could go pretty much anyplace in town that I wanted and I did. I thought nothing of riding my bike across town. I would disappear for hours at a time and my mother never worried, because I always came home eventually. Once I learned we were moving, I would ride my bike across town to the new house to check out the new neighborhood. Sometimes I had a quarter in my pocket, which would usually buy me a snack or a can of Pepsi. Somehow, I don't see kids doing these sorts of things anymore.

As my great friend Mr. Miller points out, we spent a lot of time playing basketball that summer. Mills was a huge fan of Rick Barry, the great shooting forward who at the time was in the employ of the New York Nets. My dad had bought me an ABA-style ball and Mills and I would head over to Jackson School to play basketball for hours at a time. Although we both had hoops attached to our respective garages, Jackson was the place to go. We would keep score and do a running play-by-play; usually Mills would score about 175 points in the role of Rick Barry, while I would grab about 95 rebounds in my role as Billy "The Whopper" Paultz. Other neighborhood kids might saunter by on their way to the amazingly dangerous WPA-era playground equipment, but the court was ours. Later that summer another guy in the neighborhood was using my precious ABA ball and bounced it inadvertently on a thumbtack. That was the end of the ABA ball and 34 years later, I still miss it.

Mills and I did have another obsession at that point - comic books. We discovered that there was a second hand store on the edge of downtown that had an enormous stack of old comic books available for sale at 10 cents a copy. We bought dozens of comic books at a time. But we weren't interested in superheroes; we were devotees of Harvey Comics, featuring the comedy stylings of Richie Rich, the Sad Sack, Little Dot and Little Lotta, Hot Stuff the Devil and, above all, Casper the Friendly Ghost. We had a chance then to buy classic comic books that collectors today would crave, but not us. While it might have made more sense to follow Spidey and the Green Lantern, we didn't see it that way. Somebody had to buy the Harvey Comics and we were the ones. Edifying? Perhaps not. But walking home with an armload of comic books was always a triumph for us and we seemed to have the market to ourselves.

We played baseball that summer, too - our team won the Appleton Park and Rec League 9-10 year old division and I think someone back home still has my trophy. We also donned the red t-shirts of Catholic Knights Insurance that summer in the Cadet League. I was a late bloomer in baseball and wasn't very good at that age, so my primary strategy for getting on base was getting hit by a pitch, but it was a lot of fun, even when Linus VanderWyst (a quintessential Appleton name) hit a fly ball way over my head and got a home run. I can still hear my teammates yelling, "c'mon Mark, run! You gotta go get that ball!" I could feel the wrath of the entire Knights of Columbus on me as I chased after the flying sphere. We won the game anyway, but it was the longest 50 yards I ever covered.

I don't know if kids have these types of summers anymore. Our kids have activities galore, but all of them are have loads of adult supervision. These days, that doesn't happen. We've gained many things since the Summer of '73, but freedom isn't one of the gains.

Global village

It happens to just about everyone growing up - you make a friend and then the friend's family moves away. Or you move away. It happened to me in the summer of 1973, when my parents bought a new home across town. I could still visit with my friends from the old neighborhood, but it didn't happen very often. The two years after the move were often lonely, as I struggled to make new friends, at least one of whom is now well known within the Wisconsin law enforcement community. But you survive.

I'm thinking about this today because my daughter Maria has learned that one of her best friends will be moving next month. The difference for Maria is that her friend is not moving across town; she is moving to China. Maria's friend is actually of Japanese ancestry and her father, who is apparently a computer expert, will be moving to the Far East in the next month. Not surprisingly, Maria is quite saddened by this turn of events. It's tough to lose one of your best friends at an early age, especially since there's an excellent chance that Maria won't get to see her friend again.

But the irony of it is this - the world that Maria and her brother Ben are growing up in is paradoxically larger and smaller than the insular world I grew up in back in lovely Appleton, Wisconsin. Maria may not see her friend again, but she will have myriad opportunities to communicate with her friend, via e-mail, blog, webcam and other methods that are still on the drawing boards out in Silicon Valley. You can maintain friendships now without having to maintain proximity. While it doesn't lessen the sadness my daughter now feels about her friend moving away, it's still an amazing thing. We've seen amazing changes since that summer of 1973, when the only Americans who were going over to China seemed to be ping pong players and Richard Nixon. I marvel at the distance of those 34 years, even though I can still hear the soundtrack of that summer in my head quite clearly. Perhaps it's because you still hear all the songs on KQRS. Smoke on the water, the fire in the sky....

Mission accomplished

May Day has long been a favored day for lefties. For many years, this was the day that the Soviets would parade their tanks and missiles in front of the waxworks peering from the Kremlin balconies. It has been the day that those who support amnesty for illegal immigrants have chosen to mount protests. And since May 1, 2003, it has been the day that taunting lefties use to chide their sworn enemy, President Bush, over appearing on the deck of the aircraft carrier with the "Mission Accomplished" banner behind him.

It's always been a magical day for these peace-loving people, who demonstrate their commitment to moral goodness by showing incredible, unceasing hostility towards any who might disagree with their worldview. As someone who deserves excoriation on any number of levels, I thought it wise to look at how the Left has accomplished its mission in the past four years.

The mission has been simple - destroy the current president, no matter what it takes, and no matter what the damage might be. George W. Bush has made it pretty easy, since he has demonstrated, repeatedly, an inability to fight back against the daily calumnies heaped upon him. Bush has apparently believed that he was dealing with opponents who act in good faith. After four consecutive years of abuse, you'd think he would have learned that you cannot ignore what the Left is doing. Instead, he has stayed on task, stubbornly plowing forward even as his enemies continue to attack him.

My understanding is that Bush's approval rating is something like -25% and that he is only slightly more popular than Mussolini and root canals. I have followed politics for a long time and I have never seen someone who is vilified as much as George W. Bush. Even Nixon, during the height of Watergate, drew more sympathy from the American people than Bush apparently does now.

Still, I wonder whether the Left understands how Pyrrhic a victory they are earning. By destroying this president, they are also undermining the ability of any future president to effectively govern. The earth in Washington is not only scorched, it has also been covered by salt. All of the prospective Democratic saints (Hillary, Barack, Al) will find that they will have little goodwill upon entering the Oval Office.

It's a shame, really. We will need an effective leader once George W. Bush decamps to his ranch in Crawford. But I question whether there will be anyone who will be able to lead.

If the idea was to put nihilism in the saddle, then indeed the mission is accomplished.

Shots fly

It was a lovely weekend in Minnesota. Still, the bullets are flying. Incoming!

· Ben’s Brewers made their debut in an “exhibition” game against the Rangers on Saturday afternoon. It didn’t go so well for the Brew Crew, as the Rangers pounded them 13-3. Our charges didn’t play that badly, but didn’t have an answer for the superior pitching of the Rangers team. Ben made his American League debut as a pitcher in the 4th inning, and unfortunately he seemed dipped in kerosene, giving up five runs. On the bright side, only one of the hits was a shot and he recorded the first strikeout of his nascent pitching career. Meanwhile, Ben drove in his first American League RBI in the second inning on a sharp grounder that the Ranger second baseman made a nice play on. We remain confident that the season will go well, though. The first real game will be this coming Saturday against the Cardinals – game time is 6 p.m. at Sitzer Park in Shoreview. You won’t want to miss it!
· We are getting a new archbishop and it sounds like some of the sheep have decided to reject their incoming shepherd. Bishop John Nienstedt, currently the bishop of the New Ulm Diocese, will be replacing Harry Flynn next year, when Flynn reaches the mandatory retirement age of 75. In his initial remarks, Bishop Nienstedt made it clear that he’s going to change things in the archdiocese. He is fifteen years younger than Flynn and that age difference is crucial. Flynn, like most of the senior leadership in the U.S. church, came of age during the heady days of Vatican II and the papacies of John XXIII and Paul VI. Priests of this era tended to countenance a lot of things that might have been regarded poorly by the Church historically. Churches like St. Joan of Arc, which are essentially off the reservation on most Church teachings, have been tolerated by Flynn and his predecessor, John Roach. But I’m guessing that will change once Bishop Nienstedt takes over. The issue, of course, is that parishioners of places like St. Joan will not be happy about giving up their creative interpretations of Church teachings – the ones where proto-Marxism, openly gay-flavored services and the like are part of the equation. These folks are, of course, politically liberal, and that means they will be squawking loudly about all this. But I’m guessing that, in the end, Nienstedt will hold firm. After all, traditionally, there’s a name for those who reject Church teachings. The name is Protestant.
· It’s going to take me a day or two to figure out the results of the NFL draft. My quick impression is that Adrian Peterson is a good pick for the Vikings and that the Packers made a very puzzling set of choices. This is, as the film critic and historian Andrew Sarris termed it, a “subject for further research.”

God bless the child

Peggy Noonan is one of my favorite writers and she has an outstanding essay posted on OpinionJournal, the Wall Street Journal's opinion website (www.opinionjournal.com). Noonan's thesis is that we are very busy scaring our children to death these days and, by extension, that our penchant for doing so indicates that, despite all of our protestations about how we act "for the children," we're really more concerned about our politics and our own need for self-expression. I think she's absolutely right - here's the conclusion:

One is politics--our political views, our cultural views, so need to be expressed and are, God knows, so much more important than the peace of a child. Another is money--there's money in the sickness that is sold to us. Everyone who works at a TV network knew ratings would go up when the Cho tapes broke.
But another reason is that, for all our protestations about how sensitive we are, how interested in justice, how interested in the children, we are not. We are interested in politics. We are interested in money. We are interested in ourselves.

We are frightening our children to death, and I'll tell you what makes me angriest. I am not sure the makers of our culture fully notice what they are doing, what impact their work is having, because the makers of our culture are affluent. Affluence buys protection. You can afford to make your children safe. You can afford the constant vigilance needed to protect your children from the culture you produce, from the magazine and the TV and the CD and the radio. You can afford the doctors and tutors and nannies and mannies and therapists, the people who put off the TV and the Internet and offer conversation.

If you have money in America, you can hire people who compose the human chrysalis that protect the butterflies of the upper classes as they grow. The lacking, the poor, the working and middle class--they have no protection. Their kids are on their own. And they're scared.

Too bad no one cares in this big sensitive country of ours.

Read the whole thing, though - definitely worth your time.

Baseball as antidote

When it comes to making me feel better about life, baseball is way better than chicken soup. The kids are about to start their respective seasons in the next week. Ben's Arden Hills Brewers will begin play on Saturday at noon, while Maria's Rockies squad will be starting in about one week.

Early baseball in Minnesota can be problematic; the past few years Ben has either played in snow flurries (2005) or been completely rained out (2006) on his opening weekend. This year, it looks like the weather is going to cooperate and Ben's squad looks promising. The team is young, mostly 11 year olds, but every kid on the team is an experienced player and it's obvious that they will be, at a minimum, competent. The question is going to be pitching - nine of the eleven boys are trying to pitch, but given the schedule I would not be surprised if we need every single kid to at least try his hand at pitching. SAYB has changed from counting innings to going to pitch counts to control the amount of pitching the kids do; that's a wise decision from a health standpoint, but it also means that more kids are going to have to pitch in order to get through games. It also means we should see more balls in play and less strikeouts and walks.

Meanwhile, Maria's team should be a lot of fun to watch. A couple of the kids on the team are astonishigly good hitters for 7 or 8 year-olds; I was attempting to soft-toss to a few of these kids and one of them hit a vicious line drive that forced me to duck. Following that incident, and given my need to take it easy following surgery, I have decided to hide behind the backstop and keep the book instead of doing any active coaching. At the instructional league age, you end up with some horrific mismatches and I remember Ben's teams suffering through some awful drubbings. I'm guessing that Maria's team will be doing the drubbing, but I hope not, as I think losing discourages kids from wanting to play. The ideal in the instructional team would be to have 12 teams, playing a 16-game schedule, all finishing 8-8. But it never happens that way.

Nevertheless, it will be fun. Watch this space for continuing updates!

Poison in the well

I am becoming increasingly convinced that civilized discourse in this country is becoming just about impossible, particularly where politics are involved. The debate about the war, which is coming to a head because of the Democrats' insistence on arbitrary deadlines, has become so toxic that it is simply not possible to find any compromise. And the supporters of these posturing politicians are so nasty, so partisan, that I don't see how we'll ever come up with a solution that will work.

A lot of this rancor began in the aftermath of the Reagan years. I don't know that it will do to assign blame to anyone in particular, although a lot of the tactical, scorched-earth stuff that has become endemic in political discourse these days came from the Clintons and their political machine. The thing that's most striking is the way no one on the Left seems to think that anyone on the Right could possibly be operating with good will. All the motives are seen as suspect, all the arguments seen as "talking points" or part of some "neo-con" fantasy. We've gotten to this place gradually over the last 15-20 years, but it's a terrible place to be, given the stakes in the world right now. The U.S., for better or worse, is the indispensable nation at this point in history. We cannot abdicate our responsibilities anywhere, because there is no other nation or group of nations that is able or willing to take on the burdens we have. The U.N. is a debating society, the EU is perpetually dithering and many of the other actors on the world stage are, frankly, bad guys.

My guess is we'll be walking away from a lot of things in 2009. I worry a lot about what that will mean for us as a nation. I hope that those on the Left are right about all this, because I think they will be getting their way for at least a while.

The Trouble With Harry

Harry Reid, the leader of the Democrats in the Senate, has long had a propensity for saying the wrong thing at a crucial moment. The other day he said that "... the war is lost." By that, he meant that we had lost in Iraq. Not surprisingly, President Bush and his colleagues in the Republican Party jumped all over the statement and now Reid has had to backtrack, again.

I have argued repeatedly in this space that the Democrats have been playing a dangerous game by actively undermining the war effort in Iraq. They have seemed far more interested in defeating George W. Bush than they are in defeating the various enemies arrayed against us in Iraq. I know that people are tired of the war, tired of the killing, tired of all of it. But we are lying to ourselves if we believe we can simply walk away from this battle. There was a time when politicians, particularly ones with significant political power, understood things like this. It's becoming increasingly clear that the current crop on Capitol Hill don't seem to get that.

The face of Satan

It's jarring, really. You so rarely get to see the face of pure evil. But there it was this morning, spread out on the front page of the Star Tribune.

The picture is of Cho Seung, the man who shot up the Virginia Tech campus on Monday. In the midst of his efforts to unleash Hell on a bucolic college campus, he stopped off to mail off some publicity photos to NBC News, including the one that the Star Tribune published this morning. In the photo, you see Cho's malevolent visage, with him brandishing two pistols at arm's length. Cho's pose was meant to summon the image of Jesus on the Cross. And in the video he provided, he went on at some length about the malevolence and evil he saw about him and how he was going to die "like Jesus."

I have read all four Gospels pretty thoroughly by now and I don't remember Jesus ever gunning down people at random. I do recall Jesus curing a number of people who were possessed by demons. It's pretty clear, looking at the picture, that demons were in control of Cho Seung. As with the demons portrayed in the Gospels, Cho's voice was filled with sputtering rage. In his madness, Cho envisioned himself as some sort of avenging angel, a martyr who would set things right by firing ammo clips into the evil students around him.

The whole thing is chilling and there has been some debate surrounding whether or not NBC should have aired this material. Ultimately, I think it was the right thing to do, for these reasons:

• We need to be reminded that evil does exist in this world. We are currently in the process of watching the Congress put an arbitrary deadline on the war in Iraq, mainly because so many of us are tired of confronting the evil men who are blowing up our soldiers every day. We'd rather not confront evil, even where it exists. Cho has nothing to do with Iraq, of course, but he is a reminder of what evil looks like. If we are ever to effectively confront evil, we need to face it squarely.
• We also need to see that evil, although prevalent and often pervasive, is always futile. Cho managed to kill over 30 people this day, but through his heinous actions he has brought together the Virginia Tech campus in ways that he could never have imagined. The prayers and faith of those in Blacksburg and beyond cannot erase Cho's acts, but they can and will overwhelm the malevolence that he unleashed on that campus. Those who survived this day will, in the main, not lose faith. The victims were indiscriminate; it was never a matter of someone deserving their fate. Satan would love to sit in judgment of us all, but can never do so.
• We also see, as we learn more about Cho's past, the limits of human-built structures in containing madness. We have learned that Cho was briefly institutionalized for mental illness. We have also learned that Cho had been harassing students and that some of his professors had raised various alarms. Yet, Cho was never sent away from Blacksburg and the interventions that were proffered fell far short of stopping him. All the Ritalin and lithium in the world, and all the empty court orders, are not strong enough to stop evil. We need to understand this and look elsewhere. I know where I've loooked for guidance and strength lately and I'd recommend it to everyone who reads this blog. You need faith and you need prayer. They give you the strength to face what's ahead.

Maria joins the Rockies

The suspense is over in the Dilettante household. Maria's coach called last night and informed us that she will be a member of the Rockies in the SAYB Instructional League. We are delighted for Maria because we know her coach well - he was the coach of the dreaded "Blue Team" that Maria competed against last year in the New Brighton t-ball league and is an excellent coach with a kind and patient manner. He'll do a great job teaching Maria more about the game.

I will do what I can to help out, but my current health considerations probably preclude me from taking a very active role with this team. No one will cheer harder, though. And we'll provide updates in this space on Maria's progress this year.

Blacksburg

How do you make sense of the incomprehensible? Well, one way is to write about it. I've tried to make sense of the horrible events on the Virginia Tech campus, but there's little rationality involved in the actions of an armed madman. But you can, I think, look at some of the side issues while the good people of Blacksburg and begin to mourn.

• Two things happened almost as soon as the carnage ended. Those with an agenda about guns began chanting their mantras, while others condemned them for "playing politics" with the tragedy. I don't see how you can't "play politics" anymore, given how polarized we have become as a nation. I have been consistently amazed when I talk to my left-wing brethren; we live in the same world, share many of the same experiences, but our perceptions of what we see don't correspond at all. Given this, it's beyond reason to expect people not to have their views of such an event sent through their personal political prism. In a better world we might be able to get beyond such things, but I doubt it's possible any more.
• It's once again evident that a single human being can hold enormous power, for good or evil. The shooter, who we are learning was a deeply troubled young man, had this rage building inside of himself for a long time. It appears that a number of people noticed the rage and some even attempted to intervene in his life, but to little avail. While we want to provide relief to every troubled soul, even our best efforts will sometimes fall short. I think there's a cautionary tale there for those who would use the power of the state to ameliorate all our ills, but then again, I don't want to "play politics."
• We cannot know God's will for sure, but we can know God's mercy and I think that, even in the face of an unspeakable evil, faith will be the one thing that gets Virginia Tech and the larger community that it serves through this tragedy. We have seen moments of grace and courage throughout the aftermath of this event and those are the outward sign of God's grace. The actions of the shooter were senseless indeed, but we will be able to move forward by understanding how God is now working in Blacksburg and beyond.

How is the blogger doing?

Actually, pretty well. I have been getting a little stronger every day and have been able to slowly resume some of my more normal daily activities. I will continue to post updates to this blog as often as possible in the days to come. Sometimes the best therapy post-brain surgery is actually using your brain. Thanks again for all your prayers and support - they continue to make a huge difference!

Best,
Mark

Bullet the blue sky

Here they come:

• As the NBA season winds down, we are once again enjoying the spectacle of teams tanking their seasons. It's been pretty clear that the Boston Celtics, who desperately want Greg Oden to save them, have not been trying to win for a few months now. Meanwhile, the two teams that I follow most closely, the Bucks and the Timberwolves, are in the process of phoning it in for the rest of the season, having shut down Michael Redd and Kevin Garnett, respectively. While I don't doubt that adding an Oden or a Kevin Durant would do wonders for these teams, I really question whether they should be rewarded for these sorts of tactics. The only thing I'll wager is that the Memphis Grizzlies, the team with the worst overall record, will not land either Oden or Durant.
• Speaking of bullets, the Twins are starting to run short of them already. We are only two weeks into the season and they have seen Rondell White and Jeff Cirillo go on the DL, and now Nick Punto may be headed there too. While it is early, the signs are not good over on Kirby Puckett Drive.
• Meanwhile, our beloved Minnesota Wild are getting their heads handed to them by the Anaheim Ducks. Prior to the series there was a lot of optimism here about the chances of the Wild, but the steady diet of Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver that had been the last third of the Wild's season didn't really give us a sense of where the team stacks up with the rest of the league. I have always questioned the NHL's scheduling, which so overloads divisional rivalries that it becomes difficult to gauge things. Of course, this sort of thing has been endemic to the NHL for years, going all the way back to the 1967 season, when the league doubled by adding six expansion teams, putting them all in the same conference, then deeming that the champion of the East (read: Original Six) would play the champion of the West (read: best of six expansion squads) for the championship. Typically the result would be that Montreal would beat St. Louis, and easily. No suspense, no drama. Winning the East was all that mattered. While things have changed a lot since then, it's pretty evident that the Ducks, who had not played the Wild since December, were a whole lot better, even though their record was not significantly better than the Wild's, mainly because the Ducks were fighting off an equally good San Jose Sharks squad. I guess when an organization can't learn much after 40 years, it's not surprising that their games are almost impossible to find on cable. I have always loved hockey, but it's getting increasingly invisible and irrelevant. Except here.
• On a much more local level, my son's Little League team met for the first time yesterday evening over at the coach's house. My Twins-loving son Ben will reluctantly wear the colors of the Arden Hills Brewers, an SAYB Little League American League powerhouse if I ever saw one. This north suburban True Blue Brew Crew is a good looking group of kids, including a number who were teammates of Ben on earlier squads. Although my current health situation precludes my taking an active coaching role, I get to be the bench coach for this team, which means I'll help the coach manage the lineup, keep the book, and scowl like Don Zimmer. Sounds like a pretty good gig, I think. Meanwhile, watch this space for news on Maria's Instructional League team, which is still TBD.

A dog's breakfast

Since I've been laid up for most of the past few weeks, I'm probably about the only blogger around who hasn't taken a shot at l'affaire Don Imus. Now that the blade has dropped on the grizzled talk show host, it's probably too late anyway, but there are a few things worth noting.

First, things must be pretty tangled if I find myself disagreeing with Hugh Hewitt and agreeing with Don Shelby. I had that happen yesterday and it made me wonder if my meds were off. Needless to say, nearly every radio commentator around has been weighing in on Imus, who is a genuine giant of the industry despite all. Hewitt, to my mind, is one of the smartest, most pragmatic guys on the right wing side of the dial, and his take on Imus is that he had it coming. Hewitt went out of his way to praise his advertisers and to note that when Imus's corporate sponsorship started drying up, Imus was going to be toast. While that is almost certainly true, I found myself feeling a little less blithe about the efforts undertaking by race-baiters like Al Sharpton in drumming up this controversy. Sharpton abjured a victory lap yesterday, but he is clearly more powerful than ever as a result of taking down one of the biggest voices on the airwaves. I don't see how that can be a good thing.

Then there was Don Shelby, lovingly known as "DFL Don" for his barely disguised sympathies for all things that would increase the size and scope of the Leviathan state. Shelby has for the past year been an amazing shill for those who would use global warming/climate change/"wait, the focus group is trying to come up with a better name" to control our lives. Shelby's 90 second homilies generally are paeans to such nonsense. But there was Don, condeming Imus's specific remarks but also calling out, forcefully, the hypocrisy of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson in this matter. Shelby actually did something useful - he reminded his viewers that Sharpton's public career began with his active propagation of the Tawana Brawley hoax back in the 1980s. Then, for good measure, Shelby dug back and called out the Reverend Jackson for his infamous "Hymietown" remarks from distant 1984. Shelby actually seemed disgusted about it. After watching this, I looked at the lovely Mrs. Dilettante, shrugged my shoulders and began applauding the television screen. Haven't done that in years, and never for DFL Don before.

So what does this all mean? Ultimately, I think there's a little more going on. The coincidental timing of the complete implosion of the Duke lacrosse team scandalette, which has more than a few parallels to the Brawley matter, adds another dimension to this discussion. You have also seen, if you watch and listen carefully, that there's a certain amount of scrutiny coming to those who are responsible for producing the hip hop culture that makes using terms like "ho" seem less, well, unacceptable. For pale males such as myself, there are certainly limits to the available discourse, but determining where the boundaries are is increasingly difficult. My great fortune is that I've essentially stopped worrying about what's going on in popular culture for the last 20 years or so, but for those who live in the pop culture vortex, especially fusty ol' dudes like Don Imus, knowing how to sound like a hipster without crossing the ever-capricious line gets tougher and tougher. And when someone like Sharpton can set himself up as an arbiter of where the line is set, it's pretty problematic, no?

Increasingly we live in the same place, but we have a hard time talking to each other. Chris Rock can say things that Don Imus can't. Rosie O'Donnell can apparently say anything she wants. Hope you can say whatever you want, too. But don't count on it.

Another quick update

Day 2, post-hospital:

Learned a few things yesterday.

• One, the doctors were not kidding when they say you have to take it slow. I spent about an hour and one half on the computer yesterday, wading through the Nigerian get-rich quick schemes and the usual, more pertinent correspondence. By the time I got home, I felt like I'd been hit by a load of bricks and I pretty much slept all afternoon. This is going to be a challenge to slow down. Although I don't usually come across this way, I'm definitely a Type A personality and I do like to push the envelope. Problem is, the envelope pushes back sometimes.
• Trying to remember all the drugs you need to take post-op is really a challenge. I am currently sporting six separate prescriptions and will likely have at least that many going forward, every day, for the rest of my life. It didn't seem that long ago that the only self-medication I did took place in ostensibly Irish saloons, but that's not where we are any more. I hope to have a few cocktails one of these days, though. Despite it all, summer is coming and that means at least one gin and tonic on the deck. Now there's a goal worth shooting for.
• The world keeps moving - lots of news to digest and to comment upon. But as our very recently departed Mr. Vonnegut would say, so it goes.

The lights are on

We're back. I got my get out of jail free card yesterday and was released from United Hospital, seven days after surgery. There are many things I'm thinking right now and, unfortunately, I'm still gathering my strength so this will be brief. But I still got my bullets:

• First, a word about United Hospital. They really did a great job and the staff there is dedicated and wonderful. It's easy to complain about health care; the cost, the complexity, the byzantine structures, but the people who are doing the work are among the finest people I know.
• Second, a word about nurses. As I went through my week-long adventures, I had 7-10 different nurses. Every single one of these people were wonderful, caring individuals, many with interesting life stories of their own. Besides helping me feel better, their decency and humanity were integral to my recovery. Nursing is a wonderful profession too often ignored or underplayed. The docs were great, but the nurses are the ones who get you through.
• Finally, a word about prayers. I know that I have had the prayers of many, many people and it's important for everyone to know that your prayers made an enormous difference to me. There are times when you really begin to wonder, but I swear I could actually feel the strength of prayers carrying through this past week. God will and does provide, but it really helps when you have friends and family who've got your back.

I'll keep blogging and working the Caringbridge site, too. I have a long road ahead, but I face it with confidence.

Adventures in cranial surgery await

As I am going under the knife (or, more accurately, the computerized surgical scope) tomorrow, this feature will be on hiatus for a while. I have a lot of confidence in the surgeons and the team at United Hospital and I have a lot of love and support from my family, so this will go well and I'll be back to blogging soon. Thank you to everyone for your support and your prayers - please know that they are greatly appreciated and that they are helping all of us get through this.

Best,
Mark

Meanwhile, in other, non brain-surgery related matters:

A few updates and thoughts on life in the last few days:

• Young Ben will be a member of the Brewers in Little League this year. He will be playing with a bunch of kids he knows from school, including a number of teammates from previous seasons. This should be a nice team and fun to watch. We’re looking forward to it.
• This is the third straight year that the Twins have lost an important member of their organization right before the start of the season. Herb Carneal, who has been calling games on the Twins radio network since they arrived in Minnesota in 1961, died yesterday. I only heard Herb at the end of his long career, so I suspect I didn’t hear him at his best, but his broadcasts were always a welcome sound on my radio. He will be missed.
• After picking the Final Four teams correctly, my sheet went pfft on Saturday night when Ohio State dispatched Georgetown. I didn’t get to see either game in its entirety, but I don’t see how the Buckeyes are going to beat Florida. The Gators are darned impressive. Then again, so was UNLV in 1991. Go Buckeyes, I suppose.
• Meanwhile, the Masters looms over the weekend, too. I love watching the Masters, but since it regularly falls on Easter weekend, my attempted viewership is often a disputed topic in our family, since paying attention to Tiger and Phil interferes with the Easter Egg hunting and the carving of the ham, among other things. I’ve never been sure how to square this particular circle; perhaps I can get the kids Easter bonnets with Taylor-Made logos or something like that, to get them into the spirit of things. I can already hear the soothing music now. And no Hootie this year, either!

A bad hop/Q&A

I've recently been in the hospital and there's a reason for it. As some of you know, I've been plagued with headaches for most of my adult life. Monday night into Tuesday morning, I had probably the worst headache I've ever had, requiring a trip to the doctor. Because of the additional symptoms I had that morning (blurred vision, slurred speech), I was given a series of tests and I have learned that I have a pituitary tumor. I will be returning to United Hospital next week for surgery to remove this tumor and will likely be in the hospital for the next week. As a result, blogging will be light in the coming days - it's hard to write when you have IV tubes in your arms, of course.

Anyway, here's a quick primer on what's happened and what my prognosis is.

Q. So, what the heck is a pituitary tumor anyway?
A. It's a pain in the head and a pain in the butt. The pituitary gland sits at the base of the brain, more or less behind your eyes. It is the master gland that controls the thyroid, adrenal and other glands in the body. It is small (1.5 cm) but mighty. And when it develops a tumor (which happens to about 14 of 100,000 people), it can cause real harm, with the greatest threat being to the optic nerve. My blurred vision indicates that I need this dealt with, now.

Q. Base of the brain? Does that mean this is brain surgery?
A. Yepper. It is brain surgery, although the surgeons will be able to go in through my nose to get to it. That means I won't get my skull sawed. That's something.

Q. Is the surgery dangerous?
A. Not so much. The neurosurgeon who is performing my operation is one of the best in the country and historically this surgery has about a 99% success rate. That's pretty encouraging. Also worth noting - pituitary tumors are almost 100% benign, so this is not cancer.

Q. What will this mean for your long-term health?
A. Well, I'll probably be taking a lot of pills. Since the growth is so large, there's an excellent chance that my pituitary gland will need to be removed entirely. That will require hormone replacement medication for the rest of my days. More people than you'd suspect have to do this, however.

Q. Will this mean your headaches will go away?
A. Maybe. There's a disagreement between the cavalcade of doctors who are working with me. The neurologist suspects that I have also been a migraine sufferer and that those may continue, but the horrifying headaches I've had in recent weeks will likely stop. I guess that's progress.

Q. How long will you be in the hospital?
A. Sounds like about a week. The surgery will be pretty much an all-day sucker, then I'll have to spend a few days in intensive care, then a few more in the neurology ward. After that, I'll have some pretty strict doctor's orders to fill for the next 2-3 months.

Q. Any other issues?
A. I've had my wings clipped; because I have lost some peripheral vision, I am not allowed to drive until after I've recovered, and may even face restrictions after that. That's a big bummer, but I'll try to figure a way around it.

Q. Where can we get updates?
A. They'll probably set up a page for me on the Caringbridge website. I'll try to make sure that happens before I go in.

Q. Will you still blog after the surgery?
A. Mais oui. I enjoy blogging a whole lot and appreciate the chance to share my thoughts with my vast North American audience.

Q. Is there anything you need?
A. Prayers are greatly appreciated. I'm trying to keep my composure about all this and I can feel God's hand in the events. He will take care of me, with your help.

Kid-blogging

Ben and Maria both posted long-overdue updates on their blogs over the weekend.

Check out Ben at www.bens-sportsblog.blogspot.com

Check out Maria at www.aboutmaria.blogspot.com

They aren't as verbose as their Dad. Yet.

Utopia with cisterns

If you get a chance, pick up a copy of yesterday's "Source" section of the Star Tribune. The featured article is a truly jaw-dropping musing on what the future of Minnesota (circa 2037) will be like, some 30 years on. Among the assertions are the following:

• Houses will not use any fossil fuels for power, using instead solar panels and geothermal heat pumps owned by the "community" the house is located in.
• Houses will have typically have multiple cisterns for collecting rain water, presumably because all the water will be polluted because of global warming
• New construction and housing developments will have no basements (because of mold and radon) and no garages (because no one will have a car, although communally owned hydrogen powered vehicles might be available for short trips)
• Everyone will be riding on the trains to get from Point A to Point B
• The 37 year old woman living in this prototypical house will be an "Internet bride," married to a 29 year old Chinese dude living in Shanghai, who wants to come for a visit but can't because he doesn't have sufficient "carbon credits," which are apparently being issued by someone. The Chinese dude needs an Internet bride because there aren't enough women in China. (That part will likely be true.)
• Toilets will automatically provide urinalysis information that can be supplied to insurance companies.
• Children will be taught by virtual reality "Avatars" and will learn everything they need to know without leaving the house. The 12 year old son of the woman (father unknown and unmentioned) will also play a game of soccer (naturually, it has to be soccer) in his room via virtual reality, with teammates from all over the globe.

There's more, a lot more. The whole thing would be laughable except that it is obvious that there are people who want to steer the future in this sort of direction, using global warming as an excuse.

Here's the reality - the amount of governmental force necessary to impose such a world on people would require a totalitarian government. I suspect that those who would like to do said imposing would have no problem with that. Still, I suspect the required cisterns would be pretty much unusable, because there would be too many bodies of governmental agents floating in them trying to enforce their dictates.

Deus ex machina at the Barn

From our pals at Wikipedia:

Deus ex machina is a Latin phrase that is used to describe an unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot (e.g., having the protagonist wake up and realize it was all a dream, or an angel suddenly appearing to solve problems). The phrase has been extended to refer to any resolution to a story which does not pay due regard to the story's internal logic and is so unlikely that it challenges suspension of disbelief, allowing the author to conclude the story with an unlikely, though more palatable, ending. In modern terms the deus ex machina has also come to describe a being, object or event that suddenly appears and solves a seemingly insoluble difficulty, where the author has "painted the characters into a box" that they cannot easily be extricated from (e. g., the cavalry coming to the rescue). A classic example of the use of this type of deus ex machina is in Homer's Odyssey; a more contemporary example is in Michael Crichton's The Andromeda Strain. The device is a type of twist ending.

Give this much to Joel Maturi; he’s definitely showing himself to be an “out of the box” thinker. Forget the Odyssey or The Andromeda Strain; hiring Tubby Smith away from Kentucky has to be the best example yet.

Minnesota basketball fans have been pretty patient since the 1999 academic scandal that torpedoed Clem Haskins. Dan Monson is a very nice man and ran a clean program, but the Gophers have been a pretty rank (and unranked) outfit in recent years. Lately coaches of big time programs have been raiding Minnesota for talent with impunity; Marquette, Wisconsin and Michigan State have all extricated blue chip talent from the state without much of a struggle.

That should change now. Tubby Smith has a lot of credibility in his profession for his coaching acumen. His teams are generally athletic and play excellent defense. He has won a national title. He has a reputation for integrity and class that is second to none. He is a proven winner. But if he wants to succeed, he needs to recruit well and keep Bo Ryan, Tom Crean, Tom Izzo et al. out of the state. It will take about two years to see what kind of impact he will have. But considering the box the Gophers have been in, he’s definitely the type of guy who could change things in a hurry. I may have to take back some of the nasty things I’ve said about Joel Maturi….

Penguins have no navels (updated)

I actually stumped Google with this one.

First, please endure a few parenthetical paragraphs to set this up. About a quarter century ago, I used to participate in the annual Lawrence University Trivia Contest, which went on for 50 consecutive hours starting at 10:00:37 p.m. on a winter Friday night, until midnight on Monday morning. The contest consisted of the sometimes addled broadcasters on the campus radio station (WLFM) asking a series of questions concerning matters that most would consider trivial. An example:

Q. What is the state muffin of Minnesota?
A. Blueberry

Things have changed dramatically for the contest now that the internet has made researching the obscure significantly easier, but people continue to play. I personally enjoyed playing trivia so much that I helped to start a similar contest at my alma mater, Beloit College. Other schools in the Midwest (St. Cloud State, UW-Stevens Point) also have similar contests.

One distinctive feature of the LU contest was their longtime propensity to play strange, Dr. Demento-esque songs throughout the contest. One that I particularly remember was titled “Penguins have no navels,” which detailed in song a few points about the physical features and overall morphology of these always amusing seabirds. A sample, quoting from memory:

They have no navels so they can slide on their bellies
At speeds of up to 25 miles per hour, per hour
And that’s pretty fast
Julius Ceasar wearing argyle socks, oh yeah

I have to quote from memory because I was not able to get Google to cough up the lyrics of this song, to say nothing of the performer, writer, etc. But now that I’ve raised the topic, future historians of the phrase will have the opportunity to cite this esteemed online outpost as the “go-to” source.

So, what does this have to do with anything? Believe it or not, my real topic is Amy Klobuchar a/k/a Senator Hotdish. And part two follows below.

****

Penguins have had a pretty good run lately. The charming documentary film “March of the Penguins” was an unexpected hit in the United States in 2005. Last year the Disney factory coughed up a film called “Happy Feet” featuring a penguin who channels tap dancer Savion Glover and preaches against global warming. And, as always, penguins are favorites of schoolchildren everywhere, including a certain daughter I have.

But are they drowning because of global warming? Amy Klobuchar thinks so. In her remarks on Wednesday prior to meeting the high priest of global warming, Al Gore, she relayed that she encountered a crying 8 year old girl from Roseville who was worried about penguins drowning because of global warming.

Now, we’ve all heard about the drowning polar bears, which are apparently headed for extinction in the next few days because the planet is heating up so fast. But I hadn’t heard about penguins drowning before.

If you Google the topic, you get articles from Commondreams.org, a somewhat fanciful lefty website, mentioning that penguins may be migrating from one part of Antarctica to another. Perhaps they are drowning in the move, but I doubt it, since Penguins are among the best swimmers in the animal kingdom. Now I don’t know of too many 8 year old girls who read Commondreams.org; good thing, too, because it would be prima facie evidence of child abuse.

So what are to make of this? I can think of a few things. First, for someone who promised to “change the tone” once she reached Washington, it seems that our Amy has succeeded. The former holder of her seat, Mark Dayton, was a wide-eyed loon. She is apparently auditioning for a seat on “The View.” That’s a change, all right.

Second, it’s clear that Amy would rather exploit the ignorance of children rather than instruct them. She could have assured this fretful Roseville girl that the penguins are not drowning, but instead she decided to use the story as a talking point. That’s not changing the tone at all, of course.

Finally, it would be nice if someone, anyone, in the Minnesota news media would have at least mentioned this little exchange. Michele Bachmann, the new 6th District CD representative, recently was skewered repeatedly for some ill-informed statements she made concerning the war. The skewering was entirely justified, since Bachmann was wrong. But there’s no evidence whatsoever that Klobuchar is right. A little digging would be in order, no?

W's Keyser Sose

Back before we had kids, my wife and I used to go to movies that weren't exclusively made by Pixar. One of the last films we saw before the birth of my son was "The Usual Suspects," a fine film featuring, among others, Kevin Spacey, Kevin Pollak, Gabriel Byrne, Benecio del Toro and one of those Baldwin brothers. If you've seen the film, you know that the key to solving the mystery finding out the identity of Keyser Sose, a mysterious criminal mastermind who sets the intricate plot in motion.

Some of my B of A pals believed that Ahmad Chalabi, an exiled Iraqi national and somewhat shadowy figure, was the Keyser Sose of Iraq, given his propensity to be involved in all manner of intrigues surrounding the developments in Iraq following the fall of Saddam.

But Chalabi's got nothing on Harriet Miers. Miers, long-time adviser to the President, failed Supreme Court nominee and all-around White House majordomo, appears to be a key player, along with the hated evil monstrous proto-Machiavellian Snidely Whiplash-esque neo-Rasputin Karl Rove, in the profoundly silly scandal involving the firing of eight U.S. attorneys. Miers seems to be everywhere in this administration. And every time there's blame to be apportioned, we see her friendly, somewhat schoolmarmish visage.

Excuse me while I catch my breath - that was a whole lot of adjectives there.

At the end of The Usual Suspects, the identity of Keyser Sose is revealed, but in such an ingenious way that I won't share it, on the off chance you haven't seen the film (and you should). I think we can take it as a Sign Of Progess that W's Keyser Sose is female.

Baseball is coming

It's closer and closer. Every day. Just a few thoughts:

• Looks like the pitching is holding up pretty well for the Twins right now. I will be curious to see if Sidney Ponson actually makes the squad; he has pitched pretty well the last few outings. They may need him, since Carlos Silva continues to look pretty shaky.
• It's been a pretty quiet spring training for the Brew Crew. Ben Sheets appears to be ready, which is excellent news. Of course, we've heard that before.
• I am very curious to see if the rented mules of the AL Central, the Kansas City Royals, have improved over the offseason. They have their own phenom in 3B Alex Gordon, who really looks the part. The Royals have had a turnstile at 3B ever since George Brett retired and it will be interesting to see whether this kid can make it happen. With all the talk this spring centering around the other teams in the division, I suspect the Royals may sneak up on a few people this time around. Problem is, they live in a very tough neighborhood.

Bullets rip through blogosphere

The gunman remains at large:

• 3,000 – 4,000 anti-war protestors march through Minneapolis. So went the headlines on the 10 o’clock news and so showed the front page of this morning’s Star Tribune. I guess it is newsworthy that, in a metropolitan area that is approaching 3 million in population, only 3,000 – 4,000 people would be willing to go out and participate in a little self-congratulatory street theater. It was a pretty nice day yesterday, too. Glad that we went over to the Science Museum over in St. Paul instead. There you can actually learn something.
• But then again, not as much you might think. The Science Museum is currently mounting a special exhibit about the topic of race. Most of the insights offered therein will be familiar to anyone who has been forced to endure a half-day “diversity” seminar in a corporate setting. It’s the usual litany of complaints – the privilege of white skin, the illegitimate sciences of the past (eugenics, etc.), intellectual bogeymen that most people have never heard of (Richard Jensen, Charles, Murray), etc. I think there is one clear advantage of being a white dude in 2007 in America, but it’s not what these bien pensants think. The one advantage I have is that I am generally free to believe whatever I please about most things. There are enormous pressures on those who fall under racial/ethnic rubrics to conform to an accepted range of thinking on most issues, especially for African-Americans. Perhaps someday the Science Museum, or some other such place, might consider mounting an exhibit on the pernicious effects of political correctness and other forms of groupthink. I know, it won’t happen, but white dudes like me are allowed such heterodox thoughts. For too many African-Americans, heterodox thoughts are only allowed in a Chris Rock routine.
• Since I was at the Science Museum yesterday afternoon, I did not see the Badgers lose to UNLV in the NCAA tourney. It is a sad end to what was a wonderful season. Losing Brian Butch turned out to be a huge issue and it’s easy to understand why; the 6-11 Butch is a pretty versatile fellow and because he can score from the outside, he really changed the dynamic for the Badger offense. Alando Tucker and Kammron Taylor were valiant down the stretch, but Bo Ryan’s crew needed a third option that didn’t materialize. Meanwhile, one of my anonymous correspondents proved to be pretty prescient about Ohio State, the conference nemesis of the Badgers. The Buckeyes barely survived the weekend because they ran into an officiating crew that didn’t get the memo about Greg Oden being a demigod. Oden fouled out and the ever-pesky Xavier Musketeers took the game to overtime before the Buckeyes wore them out. Next time the Buckeyes may not be so lucky.

A modest proposal

MEMO TO: George W. Bush

FROM: Mr. Dilettante

DATE: March 16, 2007

RE: The AG Kerfuffle

Well Mr. President, it would appear that the Democrats and their friends are going to continue bruiting about the fact that your attorney general, Alberto Gonzales, actually exercised his prerogative to fire subordinates. It also appears that Gonzales actually may have received input on this matter from Karl Rove. There may even be a paper trail to that effect, if the breathless news reports on the matter are to be believed.

It does not matter that your predecessor fired all the U.S. Attorneys upon taking office, including one or two who might have been inclined to investigate his Arkansas activities. All of that may be true, but none of the players in this current drama are in the least bit interested in context, history or even an accurate portrayal of events. No point in worrying about it, right? So, what do you do?

Mr. Dilettante believes that if you are going to comment on a problem, your credibility will be much higher if you bring a potential solution with you. Here’s mine:

• First, “reassign” Mr. Gonzales to a position on your personal staff. You can even give him an office next to Karl Rove. You can tell everyone that you believe his talents are better suited toward other matters your administration must deal with. You don’t have to be specific, so don’t bother. Besides, you seem to value his advice and counsel more than his administrative acumen. Alternatively, Vice President Cheney might name Mr. Gonzales to be the replacement for “Scooter” Libby.
• Nominate Amy Klobuchar, freshman senator from Minnesota, to be your new Attorney General. Yes, Klobuchar is a Democrat and is politically indistinct from the other baying senators who are trying to gin up a personnel matter into High Crimes and Misdemeanors. Klobuchar most recently ran the Hennepin County prosecutor’s office, so she has comparable credentials to Bill Clinton’s useful AG, Janet Reno. To make this work, publicly leak your intention to choose a Democrat for the open position and ensure that Klobuchar’s name is first on the list. She will not, in the end, be able to resist your request. You will gain wide (if temporary) praise for your willingness to be “bi-partisan.”
• Promise AG Klobuchar “full rein” to investigate the matter. Simultaneously announce a huge Justice Department initiative to look at “criminal justice” solutions for enemy combatants/terrorists. By the time AG Klobuchar comes up for air, it should be January, 2009.
• Meanwhile, sit back and watch Governor Tim Pawlenty appoint either former Sen. Rudy Boschwitz and/or Rep. John Kline to fill out the remainder of Klobuchar’s senate term. Either would be a fine team player and, of course, the switch of this one seat would tip the balance of power in the Senate back to the Republicans, effectively putting Carl Levin, Joe Biden et al. back in their cages.
  
  Let me know if you have any questions.
  
  CC: Karl Rove

Arrow of Light

Now it was ending. We had begun the journey in the cafeteria of Bel Air School some five years earlier, with Ben clutching a flyer and listening as well as a six year old boy can. The tall, bespectacled man in the tan shirt had told Ben and a number of equally wide-eyed boys about the opportunity they had and the adventures ahead. When the man asked if we had any questions, Ben’s hand shot up.

“Well,” he began, “I like to have fun. Do you get to have fun if you join?”

The man in the tan shirt smiled. “You bet you do,” he replied.

He was right. Five years later, in the gymnasium of Christ the King Lutheran church, three blocks north of where the journey had began, another man in a tan shirt asked Ben and nine other boys to come forward. The boys were bedecked in their uniforms, most covered with the various badges, pins and totems that symbolized the five year journey they had completed. “This is a great group of guys,” the man said. “They have worked hard and now they are ready to receive the highest award of Cub Scouting, the Arrow of Light.”

When my son is really happy, his smile has enough candlepower to light Fenway Park. This was one of those moments. As he clutched the arrow he had made a month before, he approached the “advancement bridge” that Cub Scouts cross each year as they move from Tiger to Wolf to Bear to Webelos. He had crossed the bridge each year before, but now there were members of Troop 399 on the other side, waiting to greet him. Jill and Maria were ready with the camera to capture the moment.

As I watched, the memories rattled in my brain like atoms at Fermilab. There he was, jumping off the hay wagon to climb the sand hill at a starlit Bunker Hills Park, while the parents marveled at the half dozen deer browsing along the trail, oblivious to the screams of delight from the candy-addled children. There he was, combing the wooded trails of Driftwood Park, discovering the remnants of a teenager party that had happened some time before. There he was, glowing like the Citgo sign over the Green Monster, holding the miniature sled he had built. There he was, giving a silent fist pump of celebration after receiving the trophy for second place at the Pinewood Derby. And there he was, amazing the instructor (and his father) at Webelos Activity Day by being the only Scout in the room who knew the identity and works of Aaron Copland.

As the ceremony ended, Ben and his family met briefly with the Scoutmaster for Troop 399. Just as it was five years before, we watched a brief presentation on what being a Boy Scout is like. When the scoutmaster asked if we had any questions, Ben’s hand shot up.

“So,” he began, “I hear we get to go camping a lot. Is that true?”

The scoutmaster smiled. “You can go camping every month, if you’d like.”

Somehow, I suspect Ben will try.

Good heavens, Miss Yakamoto, you're beautiful

Guess you have to blame my being an English major for this. Science interests me but I've never had the patience necessary to be an effective scientist. I ended up scuffling through my required science classes in college, precisely because they all required a weekly three-hour laboratory session that usually felt like the equivalent of taking four Benadryl capsules. I always had "other priorities," as Dick Cheney might say.

When it's time to help your kids with their Science Fair projects, you can't let them know that those are your views, though. Both Ben and Maria recently entered exhibits in the Valentine Hills Science Fair. Ben, as a fifth grader, was required to participate, while Maria, as a first grader, had no such obligation. But Maria is nothing if not competitive, especially in the sibling rivalry game. She has entered cars in the last two Pinewood Derby events for Ben's Cub Scout troop and she there was never any doubt that she would want to enter an exhibit as well.

Ben took his obligation the way many eleven year old boys take it, with equal mixtures of excitement and scorn. He very much liked the idea of competing, but wasn't particularly interested in doing a lot of work on the project. So there we were, the night before the contest, holding a professional display board, a flashlight, a piece of wax paper, a camera, a library book with information on the solar system, and a young scientist with a sullen attitude. What to do?

We had a plan. Ben had previously discovered an experiment where you could recreate the effect of sunlight on the planet Venus by shining a flashlight through a piece of wax paper. I had Ben do that, taking his picture while he did it. The pictures we took are simply a hoot; Ben holds the wax paper with great disdain, as if it were a dead muskrat. We then took a picture of Ben holding his library book open to the pages about Venus. Then we did some marketing.

We went down to the ancient computer in the basement and began detailing our efforts, comparing what we saw with what happens to the sun's rays as they hit Venus. Then we noted that, per the book, Venus's atmosphere contains a great deal of carbon dioxide, which causes a greehouse effect that dwarfs the comparable effect on earth. In fact, the temperature on the Venusian surface is hotter than on Mercury. We then made a politically correct point that more carbon dioxide in our atmosphere would make things hotter, too. Bingo - mother lode. We printed it up the results, got the pictures developed quickly and pasted the thing together. And Ben got a healthy B+.

What does this tell you? A few things, actually, and not all of them positive:

1. Telling people what they want to hear is always a popular choice;
2. Sometimes the best work gets done when your back is against the wall;
3. There can be a pretty big difference between the lessons you are taught and the lessons you ultimately learn; and
4. Just because something appears on a project board does not guarantee intellectual rigor.

I'm guessing that Ben will approach science the way I did, i.e., only when absolutely necessary.

Meanwhile, Maria's project turned out to be a way for her to do her favorite thing, drawing. Her topic was "What Makes a Bird a Bird." So Maria patiently explained that birds have common features (feathers, beaks, warm blood, a skeletal system with a backbone and eggs that hatch). She then drew pictures of penguins, bats and bees and used them as illustrations. It was pretty good for a first grade project and she had fun.

The only bummer is that the huge snowstrom, a/k/a SNOWMAGEDDON'S BAD *** COUSIN, wiped out the opportunity for other students and parents to see the masterpieces coming out of our laboratory. But we'll remember it well. We've also learned that professional display boards are excellent for fort-building and hide-and-go-seek games. Again, the lessons you are taught are not always the lessons you ultimately learn.

And as for the Big Dance itself....

A few very preliminary thoughts:

• The Big East didn't necessarily get the respect I thought they would. Syracuse and West Virginia both ended up on the outside, while our beloved Marquette squad hardly got a break. MU did stumble a bit down the stretch, but falling to an 8 seed is pretty amazing. Even more troubling is a first round date with Michigan State, the school where Tom Crean made his bones as an assistant under Tom Izzo. Ultimately I think the Golden Eagles match up well against the Spartans, who are far too dependent on Drew Neitzel. But it's a tough assignment, especially with Carolina waiting in the wings. MU needs to get some better big men, and soon.
• Ohio State really roughed up the Badgers in the Big 10 championship game, so the 2 seed is about the best they could have expected. One might be upset that they landed in Florida's bracket, but consider this: if you really expect to win the tournament, you probably have to beat Florida, sooner or later. I think the Badgers can get past their initial likely opponents, starting with hated Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. But I don't know how they stop Joakim Noah and Al Horford short of a restraining order.
• My best early guess on a sleeper team is Winthrop. They can score, defend and their losses are all to other teams in the tournament. Notre Dame got a tough early assignment.
• If you are a Minnesota Gopher fan, do not fear that this tourney has nothing for you; chances are good that one of the mid-major coaches you'll get to see over the next week will be announced as the new man at the Barn. Could it be Lowery, or Theus, or someone else? It won't be Flip - that much is certain.

Fearless predictions? Maybe tomorrow.

A true son of March

When you think about the month of March, there are plenty of images that spring to mind. It’s a capricious time in the northern climes, as spring attempts to arrive and (often enough) gets buried under another blanket of snow. It’s a time of hope for baseball fans watching the reports from Florida and Arizona and dreaming that maybe this year is The Year. It is a time of celebration around St. Patrick’s Day, a chance to quaff cheap beer dyed green. In Chicago, they dye the Chicago River green and stage a parade where the Democratic Machine and the labor unions get to strut down State Street, usually chasing their green plastic derby hats as the gale force winds whip them about. It can also be a time of reflection – a significant chunk of the Lenten season always falls in March.

But most of all, March is about basketball. March is the time of March Madness, when the high school tournaments in each state unfold. The “Big Dance,” the NCAA tournament, takes place in March. The tournament brackets are printed and posted throughout the land and countless side bets and office pools are made. SportsCenter junkies pore through the results looking for trends, while those who have little or no interest in the game fill out their brackets with a mixture of wild guesses and largely irrelevant considerations (school colors, toughness of mascots, etc.) Every year the tournament itself is grand theater, with obscure schools defeating mighty universities and buzzer-beating bombs sending fans into ecstasy or agony. While I love baseball most of all, I think it beyond dispute that basketball can be the most dramatic of our major sports. It is also beyond dispute that the most consistently competitive and entertaining of our major sports championships is the NCAA men’s basketball tournament.

Given all of this, it’s especially appropriate that my best childhood friend, Mark Miller, has his birthday today. Mark is a deluxe basketball junkie who has turned his love of the sport into something substantial. Way back in 1985, after Mark had graduated from UW-Oshkosh, he had an idea. He wanted to publish an annual basketball yearbook that would focus on basketball in Wisconsin. He would produce a publication similar to the preview magazines that regularly appear on newsstands before each season, but his would feature basketball at the high school and collegiate level. Mark’s own basketball career had ended back in high school, but he had already begun cultivating relationships with coaches and players during his college years. He would give it a go.

Mark traveled the state that first year, spending most of his time trying to explain his vision to skeptical coaches and local advertisers. Most publications never reach the store shelves without sophisticated market research. Mark didn’t have that, but he did have a hunch; he thought that if he could produce a quality product and provide fair analysis of the state basketball scene, there would be an audience. He worked like crazy, did almost all the work himself, and got the inaugural Wisconsin Basketball Yearbook published in the fall of 1985. It was a Herculean effort and he lost a lot of money his first year. But his hunch was correct – there was a market.

As the years went on, Mark continued to publish the WBY while simultaneously pursuing a journalism career at a variety of local newspapers throughout the state, moving from Waukesha to Sheboygan, to Oshkosh. Along the way he inexorably became the “go-to” guy for basketball in the state. Coaches came to see him as an ally and confidant. Players were thrilled to have their names in the WBY. Advertisers began to see that there was an audience for this publication and ad revenue started to climb. As the internet became a greater source of information for people, Mark expanded his universe to the World Wide Web, starting two excellent websites, www.wbby.com and www.wishoops.net. He leveraged his relationships with coaches throughout the state to create a highly successful holiday tournament in Milwaukee and, this season, a “Border Battle” tourney pitting Wisconsin teams against Minnesota squads. The kid from Xavier High who dared to dream big is now recognized as the pre-eminent basketball expert in the state of Wisconsin. It’s a great story that I’ve been observing from a distance for many years now.

Happy birthday to a true son of March – Mark Miller, who has proven that you can live your dream. Your old pal couldn’t be more proud of you.

Game on

Finally, the showdown begins. CNN reports:

The troop withdrawal timetables in the House are embedded in appropriations legislation that provides money for care of wounded troops, for better equipment and training, and for expanded operations in Afghanistan.

It has become increasinly obvious that the Democrats are intent on micromanaging the war and slowly steering the result toward their preferred (if unspoken) result, which is defeat. The defeat would belong to W. alone, of course. His war. His legacy.

Tell you what. That sounds good. Because if the D’s succeed in this effort, they will own the future, after the troops limp home because of their lack of funding. If I’m right about what such a future might bring, the Democrats will be ruining their chances to lead for a generation or more. And that would be, to paraphrase Martha Stewart, a good thing.

All along, the Democrats have said they are more qualified to lead than W. Now they get to prove it.

Gregor "Scooter" Samsa

Which would you rather wake up as, a cockroach or a convicted felon?

Gee, what a happy choice! Luckily for Scooter Libby, he doesn’t have to choose. After his conviction in US Federal Court, he gets to be both. He has been through a bizarre, multi-year prosecution in which a special prosecutor, who has only one case and an unlimited budget, gets to present as Byzantine a case as is possible, charging a crime that stems out of an investigation of a crime that apparently never happened. It’s enough to make your head spin.

I’m probably oversimplifying things a bit, but the case against Libby has relied on distinctions that would have befuddled Bertrand Russell. What apparently Libby did is not give accurate testimony about conversations that he apparently had two years previous, while the prosecution witnesses, who don’t necessarily remember things that well, either, dispute what he said. He said, she said, perjury. And prison, presumably.

The whole thing is Kafka and Lewis Carroll with a bit of Camus thrown in for seasoning. And perhaps we could throw in Ionesco and Buñuel, too. And why not Zola, too, while we’re at it? It is the height of absurdity to convict someone in a cover-up of a non-existent crime. So what’s the good news? Libby can probably delay things until about 01/20/09. Then, about midnight, W can pardon ol’ Scooter. Then Scooter can have a cocktail with Marc Rich.

A few quick thoughts

But just a few.

• Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton went to Selma, Alabama over the weekend to speak on the anniversary of Dr. King's march over the Edmund Pettis Bridge. The more I see of Obama, the more I think Hillary may have a problem. Obama is an outstanding orator, as good as anyone I've seen in my lifetime. Clinton is not. I still don't sense there's a lot behind the screen with Obama, but Hillary is going to have a difficult time attacking this guy.
• Ann Coulter was at it again over the weekend, throwing out a favorite sexual epithet in the direction of John Edwards. It was gratuitous, silly and deeply frustrating. But that's our Ann. She is smart enough to realize that every time she does something anti-social like this, she's guaranteed another fifteen minutes. There's a reason why such unsavory types as Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell et al. are trotted out in the mainstream media to supposedly offer the conservative position: they confirm the biases of said media. I'd suggest that Ann stop beating her wife, but then I'd be just like her, no?
• Par Ridder is going across town to be the publisher of the Strib, leaving the Pioneer Press to do it. Not sure what it means, but hiring Ridder did save Avista Capital Partners having to pay relocation fees for another publisher, I suppose. Don't expect much change at the Strib, though.
• So the Badgers lose to the Spartans at East Lansing, then barely survive a return meeting in Madison, all in less than two weeks. Did you catch Bucky's likely first round opponent in the Big Ten tournament? You got it, the Spartans. If Badger fans are not tired of seeing Tom Izzo and Drew Neitzel by now, just wait....

The men behind the curtain

Sometimes you do have to pay attention to the men behind the curtain.

Saturday Ben and I were running around the north metro for his baseball tryouts. Ben, at 11, has now reached the magic age where he enters the regular Little League, the one with the traveling teams, the World Series and the chance for moppets to practice flexing for ESPN. Since Ben plays in the Shoreview Little League, there's a chance some of his peers may do some flexing - this organization sent a team to the Big Dance back in 1997 and is regularly one of the most powerful programs in the state. Since Ben has played in this organization for four years now, he knows how to play and he really enjoys the game, but he is not likely to be chatting up Gardy a decade from now. The Shoreview folks do take this sort of thing seriously. So Ben joined a bunch of other kids for the big tryout on Saturday.

The tryout process is pretty mysterious for a first-time dad like me. We were told to report to Line Drive Sports in Lino Lakes on Saturday morning for an evaluation of Ben's hitting prowess. Line Drive is a batting cage in an industrial complex that was pretty much hiding behind the mess left behind by SNOWMAGEDDON'S BAD-*** COUSIN. I drove right past it on the first approach and realized, once I was approaching Mora or something like that, that I'd overshot a smidge. So I turned around and eventually found the place. The kids were given numbers to wear - Ben was number 571 - and were ushered to the back. Parents were told to stay behind.

So the ritual was shrouded in mystery. At one point the door opened and I was able to catch a quick peek at the set-up. A panel of coaches were sitting high above the kids, looking for all the world like the Supreme Court, except clad in nylon warmup suits. The men appeared to stare impassively at the lads, occasionally writing something on a clipboard. Not a word was spoken, it seemed. While the parents milled around in the pro shop and pawed through the overpriced merchandise, kids would emerge, one by one, either smiling or frowning. After a while, Ben came out with a smirk, an expression he's clearly learned from his father.

"How'd it go, slugger?" I asked.

"I was a little bit rusty, I think," Ben replied. "But I'll get to play in the American League, right?"

"Sure," I said.

Here's what that means. At this age they take the best kids and put them in what is called the National League. Here the top kids, the ones who are eventually headed for the high school varsity, the AAU and all the other tentacles of the sportsocracy in this country, form "traveling" teams that require their parents to essentially sacrifice their social lives for the coming year. Traveling teams are very glamorous, as the kids get to compete all over the area and beyond. Nothing quite beats the fun of a 9 a.m. game in Inver Grove Heights, or maybe an overnight trip to New Ulm. Kids who aren't quite up to this lofty level play in what is called the American League, which is a lot like the league Ben played in last year, except with more spitting, I guess.

Can I be honest? I'm glad that Ben will be in the American League. He'll be able to play, learn and have fun, rather than having some manufacturer's rep/Earl Weaver wannabe eroding Ben's ego with invective or (worse) silence. As a practical matter, the terminus of Ben's baseball career will likely be in beer league softball some day. You don't need expert teaching to play that.

I love baseball, but youth sports get a little too intense sometimes. The game is the thing and I'm glad Ben will be playing this year. Maria will, too. More on that in coming posts.

Brew Crew

Finally, a few words about the True Blue Brew Crew.

It's been 15 years since the Brewers have had a winning record and 25 since they made their only appearance in the World Series. That's a long stretch of futility. Plenty of fine players have come and gone through Milwaukee during the long drought, but the Brewers have always seemed to be short of something - a power bat, defensive acumen, starting pitching. The current braintrust in Milwaukee has been slowly adding talent for years. Last year it looked like things were going to change, but somehow there was yet another epic mid-season collapse. So should we have any expectations in 2007?

Sure. Why not. They are playing baseball in Florida and Arizona right now. This is the time of optimism. And there are reasons for optimism in Milwaukee.

The Brewers should have a good overall lineup. Prince Fielder appears ready to assert himself as a star at first base, showing the tremendous power from that is a family trademark. He is also surprisingly nimble at first base. Rickie Weeks has tremendous talent, but the 2nd baseman has had a difficult time staying healthy. If he can do it, he's a guy who could/should hit 25-30 homers a year. Shortstop J. J. Hardy is another talented fellow, but he's also had a lot of trouble staying healthy. If he can, he could be a lot like the Twins' Jason Bartlett, except with more power. Third base is where things start to look dicey - Corey Koskie is really struggling with post-concussion syndrome and he may not be able to answer the bell this year, which would mean a platoon of Craig Counsell and Tony Graffanino at the hot corner. Both Counsell and Graffanino are well-established major leaguers and utter professionals, but both are also the kind of guy you'd prefer to replace in your lineup.

In the outfield, it appears that the Brew Crew will be sorting through some combination of Geoff Jenkins, Kevin Mench, Tony Gwynn Jr. and Corey Hart around centerfielder Bill Hall. Hall moves to the outfield after a spectacular, nomadic year in the Brewer infield. Hall has a big time bat and should be a good fit in center. Jenkins has served the Brewers long and well for many years, but it looks like he may be running out of gas, just as the team may turn the corner. He may hold a place in Brewer history similar to that of Brian Noble, the fine Packer linebacker whose career ended just as the winning began. Hart is a talented guy and looks like a ballplayer, but he was pretty inconsistent last year. If he is ready to take the next step, he could be a 20-25 homer guy who makes the big plays. Mench is an American League player (read: a DH) but he can hit well enough to get some steady at-bats. At catcher, the Brewers picked up Johnny Estrada from the Diamondbacks. Estrada is a better hitter than the Miller/Moeller combo that has been behind the backstop in recent years, but he's not a long-term solution.

The key, as always, will be pitching. In theory the Brewers should have an excellent rotation. Ben Sheets is a big-time talent who has had his last two seasons wrecked by injuries. The question is whether he will rebound, or is he Kerry Wood North? Chris Capuano had a pretty good year given the lack of support he had last season, and Dave Bush is just fine as a number four or number five starter. New acquisition Jeff Suppan was a key to the Cardinals winning the World Series this year, but he's not a top line starter. If he can give the Brewers 12-13 wins and 200 innings, he'll have accomplished a lot. Claudio Vargas pitched well for the D-backs last season, winning 12 games. The Brewers hope he can duplicate that.

Where things went south last season was in the bullpen. Derrick Turnbow is a massively talented guy who developed a bad case of Steve Blass Disease last year. He became completely ineffective after spending the previous year and one-half blowing away the National League. Turnbow still has great stuff; if he gets his head on straight, he could rebound. Meanwhile, Francisco Cordero did well as Turnbow's replacement and projects as a potentially dominant set up man. The Brewers have other relievers who have pitched fairly well in stretches in the recent past, including Matt Wise, Brian Shouse and Jose Capellan. If these guys hold up, the Brewers may be able to close the door after the sixth inning a lot this year.

So how will the Brewers do? Excellent question. The defending world champions are in their division, but the Cardinals had a puzzling off-season where they let key players like Suppan go. You have to assume they will remain tough, but you wonder. The Astros are rebuilding on the fly and remain a dangerous team, but they don't scare you. The Cubs spent a lot of money in the off-season and I suspect that Alfonso Soriano will be an absolute monster in Wrigley Field. But I've seen Ted Lilly pitch and I don't see him making much of a difference; and, at this point, Kerry Wood and Mark Pryor are more likely to appear on a milk carton than in the Cubs dugout. The Reds are hard to read, too - I suspect they will be hanging around at the end, while the Pirates seem mired in the basement. I do love their ballpark, though. Given their neighors, you could make a credible argument for the Brewers winning the division. You could also make an argument that they will finish fifth. So I'll compromise and predict that they come in third.

SNOWMAGEDDON's bad *** cousin

Mark Twain famously remarked that everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. Sounds about right. As I write we are in the middle of the second big snowstorm of the week. We got a foot over the weekend, now we get the other foot today. Or maybe it's a boot; hard to say. I know which part of my anatomy the footwear is reaching, however.

We have spent a lot of time talking about the weather, or rather the climate, in recent years. You can hardly get through a newscast without hearing the drumbeat about global warming, or climate change, or something like that. I've learned that we are pretty much doomed unless we start letting the government hoover our wallets some more, whether via global carbon taxes, or CO2 emission offsets, or something. No one has precisely explained what's going to happen to the money, but we gotta pony up.

Assuming the teacher's unions don't get all the money first, I guess we're going to have to start writing the big checks, mostly likely with carbon-free inks. I also understand, from those more enlightened minds, that we'll have to change our ways. We may have to stop using gas powered lawn mowers and put the kibosh on the hibachi. If you want to barbecue a steak, you may have to put it under your armpit, which should work when the median earthly temperature is up to 165 degrees Fahrenheit. My understanding is that will be sometime in about 2011 or so.

I'll be sure to do all this, of course. I'm a good citizen and I want to make sure I save the planet for the kids and all that. I am a true believer in Global Warming and I will take all appropriate steps to get my mind right about this. But first I have to find my car under all the snow.