So I've been thinking about it all day long and I've built up a full head of steam and HYYYYYYYPPPPPPPE!
So that's what was going on this afternoon. I had thought the sump pump had backed up.
Nice try, old dude. Almost funny. Really, fairly close to amusing. But not quite. Look, people don't come here for your lame attempts at humor, they come to see my brilliant observations.
Remind me -- what was your record last week?
That would be 0-4. But so what? I'm back and I'll demonstrate. Watch me work!
Complaining, as usual
San Francisco Kaepernicks (-4) vs. Hotlanta Dirty Birds. Okay, so Colin Kaepernick proved me wrong last week. He looked like a runaway dump truck going through the Packer defense. But now he's in Atlanta, where the results will not be as good. Why, you might ask? Well, let the Benster 'splain it to you. Atlanta this year has played the Panthers twice, the Seahawks and the Redskins. They have won 3 of those 4 games. All those teams had a running quarterback -- Scam Newton, Russell Wilson and RGIII. All of those gentlemen do the same things that young Kaepernick does, although with less tattoos. Unless you think that Atlanta has forgotten what they've learned from playing those guys, it stands to reason that they will have a good game plan for dealing with the magical, fabulous, unstoppable, Big XII throwback read-option play, which supposedly is absolutely unstoppable. Do you really believe that? No. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, the Falcons will send out Roddy White, Julio Jones and Tony Gonzalez. All three are really big, really strong and matchup nightmares. The 49ers think they've earned a trip to New Orleans. The truth is, Colin Kaepernick will have less than 50 yards rushing and Frank Gore will have 25 yards rushing. And San Francisco will only gain 100 yards or so on the ground. In fact, they will only have 200 yards total for the game. The Atlanta Falcons will show the world that even though the read-option is a deadly killer if you're Dom Capers, the NFL is a passing league and the read-option will be a passing phase. Atlanta 35, Fire Jim Harbaugh 7. Really? No, really? Hmmm. Benster assures me that he's made a completely serious pick. I'm beginning to wonder if he's getting freaked out about the ACT test or something. Let's just say that I disagree with his learned analysis. I think Atlanta, having had a week to prepare, will have a better plan for Kaepernick than Green Bay did. I'm sure that the experience that Benster ably documents will make a difference in defending Kaepernick. But I also think San Francisco is a better team overall. It's going to be close, because I think Atlanta matches up better with the 49ers than the Packers did, but I'm going to disagree. San Francisco 31, Atlanta 27. Baltimore Ravens (+8) vs. New England Patriots. Okay, we've dispensed with one member of the Harbaugh family. What about John Harbaugh, the kinder, gentler Harbaugh who runs the Ravens? Well, let's go back to 2009. The Patriots were hosting the Ravens in the playoffs that year and most experts said that Patriots were going to win. Well, the Ravens won. Meanwhile, last year the Ravens also showed up in Foxborough and lost, even though they had the winning touchdown pass in the grasp of Lee Evans, who apparently forgot that Badgers need to make such catches. Anyway, the point is that the Ravens are a lot closer to the level of the Patriots than they get credit for. In fact, the Ravens are this year's team of destiny. And it would be interesting to see Ray Lewis play his final game in the stage in which he had his highest of highs, against the team that represents where he had the lowest of lows. Ravens 21, Patriots 17. Okay, I get this pick. I can see it, because I'm not especially convinced that the Patriots are really that good. I see them as flawed. Joe Flacco showed me something last week, too -- winning in Denver was a pretty impressive thing, because I thought the Broncos were the best team in the AFC by a lot. Didn't turn out that way, though. Still, I'm going to go with the Patriots. But it's going to be close. New England 31, Baltimore 30.
Meanwhile, a word about Jim Harbaugh. The guy is an excellent coach, but man, he's irritating. The rah rah crap that he throws out there might work for a while, but it's going to get old in a hurry. The 49ers had better win it this year, because they made a huge mistake in benching Alex Smith. Kaepernick is a nice player who had a game for the ages last week, but as we all know, running quarterbacks don't last in this league. In fact, if you look at Kaepernick's style, he's a lot like Randall Cunningham, who had a few amazing years here and there but never got it done when it mattered. Just ask Vikings fans about that part. If the 49ers were smart, they'd play Alex Smith. Ben out!
I've done a little pruning of the sidebar, trying to add a few sites that I like and moving some sites that seem to have gone cold to the archival section, now known as "Moribund Burgermeisters." As always, if a site is on the sidebar it doesn't necessarily mean a full-throated endorsement from the entire Neighborhood staff, but it does mean that it's worth a look, at least in my view. Sometimes it's worth much, much more.
I'll probably make a few more tweaks to the site in the coming days. There might even be new content, too, assuming we can get past the imaginary girlfriends and cyclists on the juice. Benster and D picks will come today at some point as well, but word on the street is that the Benster is cultivating a new crop of HYYYPPPPE! or somesuch and you can't rush these things.
Our friend First Ringer takes a shot at explaining the Manti Te'o story over at Shot in the Dark. And as usual he's spot-on about the larger meaning:
Sports ”journalism”, like most reporting, has little connection to facts and almost everything to do with emotionalism. Actions don’t count – narrative does and the anger being expressed by reporters against Te’o today is less for his lies than for what they reveal about the motivations of journalists. As one sportswriter remarked, even the man who beat Te’o for the Heisman, Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel, won in part on his ability to manipulate the media. After all, there was no “Johnny Football”, as Manziel is known, on the Heisman ballot.
Facts are simple and facts are straight Facts are lazy and facts are late Facts all come with points of view Facts don't do what I want them to Facts just twist the truth around Facts are living turned inside out Facts are getting the best of them Facts are nothing on the face of things Facts don't stain the furniture Facts go out and slam the door Facts are written all over your face Facts continue to change their shape
We like a good story, but most stories need a little embellishment. ESPN and the other nets are happy to build up a guy like Te'o, because narrative delivers eyeballs and truck ads. But we're not supposed to look behind the curtain.
And you know something is a big story if the Taiwanese animators are on it. So here you go:
As a public service, we link to this outstanding synopsis of President Obama's 23 Executive Orders issued yesterday. A little flavor:
7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign. Do the same thing the NRA already does, only half as well at twice the cost. 8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission). Do what Underwriters Laboratories already does, only half as well at twice the cost. 9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations. Tell the Feds to do their jobs. 10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. Tell the DOJ to do its job. 11. Nominate an ATF director. Tell myself to do my job.
I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption
If you're the President of the United States, you can get a photo opportunity pretty much any time you want, and today he took one, posing for the trades with a backdrop of children and a laundry list of largely ineffectual executive orders. What he signed today really won't do anything to change the already slim likelihood that a child will get gunned down in a school. Here is the tableaux:
“If there’s even one thing we can do to reduce this violence, if even one life we can save, we have an obligation to try it,” Obama said, speaking to an audience that included family members of the 20 first graders and six adults killed at Newtown’s Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Well, one way we could cut down on school shootings would be to make everyone home school their kids. That would certainly do the trick, but somehow I don't see that in the offing. Mitch Berg has the full list of executive orders over at his place, should you care. The ones to watch concern the reporting of gun use under the guise of healthcare as part of the overall Obamacare scheme, with potential requirements that doctors ask patients about whether or not they use a gun. Since "none of your freakin' business" apparently won't be an acceptable answer, you'll have to let your conscience be your guide on how you respond.
As Orwell said:
We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
So let's get to the obvious first.
It's possible that Barack Obama and his minions would like to grab the guns, but it's not going to happen. While no one knows the exact total, there are something north of 300 million guns currently in the United States. Even confiscating 10% of that total would be impossible.
While we are able to see the results of mass shootings almost in real time thanks to the 24/7/365 news cycle, the actual number of gun deaths is down, pretty significantly. In 1993, over 17,000 people were murdered with a gun as the weapon of choice. In 2011, the figure had dropped to 9,903.
If you're going to be a gun murder victim, chances are pretty good that the weapon that will do you in will not be an "assault rifle." It's far more likely that you'll meet your maker via a handgun or a sawed-off shotgun.
One of the things that's most maddening about the debate over guns is that it's so easy to resort to caricature. In the past month, I've probably heard two dozen references to "America's gun culture" or "America's culture of gun violence" or somesuch. And I've been able to rack up that total without ever watching Piers Morgan's show on CNN. So what is the gun culture. Does it look like this?
Don't want to end up in a cartoon graveyard
This, of course, is Elmer Fudd, the dim cartoon character nemesis of Bugs Bunny. Elmer is somewhat lovable but really isn't smart enough to have all that firepower. Of course, since he's a cartoon, it doesn't really matter very much whether he blows off the beak of Daffy Duck a half-dozen times over the course of a six-minute short.
Or, does it look like this?
American
This, of course, is the character Floyd R. Turbo, one of the recurring cast of characters that Johnny Carson invented during his 30-year run at the helm of the Tonight Show. Turbo's a combination of Elmer Fudd and Archie Bunker. He's not very bright, either, and he likes his guns, but he's also a bit of a bigot. Here's a sample quote from one of the bits:
"This station wants no draft. They want to deprive a boy of the Army. The Army is educational. The Army teaches you how to do dental work with the butt of a rifle....how to tell what time it is by making a sundial out of a dead person...how to make beer out of bird droppings and also how to make a rubber girl out of an inner tube...In conclusion, I say we should not end the draft. We should increase it. We have a moral obligation to give Bob Hope soldiers to entertain. Fellow Americans, it is an honor to be drafted and to serve your country. Thank you, bye-bye, and buy bonds."
Or, does it look like this?
The bogeyman in the 1980s
This is the wanted poster for Gordon Kahl, who led a group called the Posse Comitatus in the 1980s. They ended up getting into shootouts in North Dakota and Arkansas, where he finally met his maker in 1983. Kahl's movement had supporters in the town of Tigerton, Wisconsin, which was about 40 miles north of where I grew up, so they were much in the news during my youth. A more recent example was that of David Koresh, who was at the helm of the Branch Davidian sect, which met a fiery end in a battle with various federal gendarmes outside of Waco, Texas, in 1993, following a monthlong siege of their compound. Oddly enough, the children who lived there didn't get a photo opportunity with the President.
There are people that I know who are generally sensible on many topics, but feel that there's just a thin veneer that separates most gun owners from becoming like Gordon Kahl or David Koresh. You cannot convince them otherwise. And that's a problem, because most people I know who would be part of the "gun culture" aren't like that at all. When I think of someone who was integral to the "gun culture" here in the Twin Cities, this is the image that comes to mind:
A serious man, much missed
This is Joel Rosenberg, who unfortunately left this world in 2011. Joel was an accomplished science fiction writer and thinker. He was also one of the best gun safety instructors around. If you want to know who actually wrote the book concerning gun safety and 2nd Amendment rights in Minnesota, Joel was the guy. I got to know Joel a little bit, mostly from visiting with him at blogging events. He was a great guy and while he knew all about guns, there was never a scintilla of threat about him. Many of my friends in the blogging community were his students and I had often contemplated taking his course one day.
What Joel knew and taught was this -- while having a gun is an absolute right under the 2nd Amendment, actually using a gun was about the most serious thing a person could do. A lot of people who took Joel's course might have initially thought it would be about marksmanship and/or choosing the right weapon. That really wasn't what the course was about, though. It was about making sure that people understood the stakes involved in using a gun and the implications of what will likely happen to you if you pull the trigger and the bullet you fire strikes another human being. Much of the course content concerned understanding the law, but the overarching theme was about something much more than that.
When I think of gun culture, I think of Joel Rosenberg. If we could get more people to understand that Joel and the others who carry on his work and legacy are serious people, it might make a difference.
So it appears that the oft-reported human interest story concerning the tragic death of the girlfriend of Manti Te'o, Notre Dame's highly decorated linebacker, was an elaborate hoax.
We'll get back to the specifics of President Obama's exercise in kabuki later, perhaps this evening, but for now I'm going to quote Brian, who makes a salient point over at his place (and you should read the rest):
If we're serious about reducing total homicides via reducing the number
and/or types of weapons in general circulation, it makes a great deal
more sense to go after handguns. Given the number of people that own
handguns in this country, that is naturally a much more difficult
proposition.
Of course, we're not particularly serious about it.
Bo Ryan is a hell of a coach. I thought the Badgers were in trouble, but winning at Indiana, especially this season, is pretty impressive. The Badgers have beaten Indiana 11 consecutive times. There were entire decades that went by when the Badgers couldn't beat Indiana, especially when Bob Knight was around.
Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton has appointed Kate Knuth to a two-year term as a citizen member of the state’s Environmental Quality Board, effective Jan. 14.
You might remember Knuth, who until recently was a state representative known mostly for (a) wearing orange and (b) jetting off to climate conferences in Copenhagen and such. So what is Citizen Knuth gonna do?
The EQB is composed of the governor’s office, the heads of nine state agencies, and five citizen members. It develops plans and policies and reviews projects that have potential for impacting the quality of Minnesota’s environment.
In other words, busybodies with state funding.
"I’m excited to serve the people of Minnesota in a new way on the Environmental Quality Board, Knuth said. "Minnesota is home to engaged citizens, amazing natural resources and diverse economic opportunities. It’s an honor to have the opportunity to continue working for these important interests in Minnesota state government."
Amazing! Engaged! Diverse! All that and more, no doubt. So what is Knuth's day job?
Knuth, director of the Boreas Leadership Program at the University of Minnesota’s Institute on the Environment and a graduate student in the College of Food, Agricultural and Natural Resource Sciences, brings a wealth of experience in environmental protection, state government and leadership to the position. She recently completed three terms of service in the Minnesota House of Representatives, where she worked on numerous environment, energy and commerce issues. In her work at the Institute on the Environment, she creates opportunities for University students to develop leadership skills to take on environmental challenges.
You might also remember recent articles about administrative bloat at the University of Minnesota and thought, gosh, what do they spend all this money on? Well, there's your answer.
Word is that President Obama is going to start a gun control offensive today. I'm going to see what he says before I say anything further about his agenda.
I woke up this morning with the lyrics to a song running through my head. We heard the song last night at our school district's West Side Choir Concert. The 7th and 8th grade choirs from the two middle schools located on the west side of the school district performed as well as the concert choir from the high school that is located on the west side of the school district.
Before the concert started, Mr. D. and I talked about this week's events. We were at the choir concert because Fearless Maria volunteered to play percussion for one of the songs. Tonight, Benster is going to help out a Cub Scout pack with their Pinewood Derby.
Mr. D. and I enjoyed hearing all of the choirs. Even though Benster and Fearless Maria were not singing, we do know quite of few of the kids in the various choirs because some of them have been involved with the Girl Scout troop that I lead. Many of the kids attend or attended the middle school where I volunteer. Some of the kids have been in the religious education classes that Mr. D. taught. Some of the kids have been on sports teams that Mr. D. coached.
The concert ended with all of the choirs singing one song together.
It takes a whole village to raise our children It takes a whole village to raise one child We all, everyone, must share the burden We all, everyone, must share the joy
It's a responsibility we take seriously in this neighborhood.
More than 400 French troops have been deployed to [Mali] in the all-out effort to win back the territory from the well-armed rebels, who seized control of an area larger than France nine months ago. What began as a French offensive has now grown to include seven other countries, including logistical support from the U.S. and Europe. The United States is providing communications and transport help, while Britain is sending C17 aircrafts to help Mali's allies transport troops to the frontlines.
We may or may not be getting out of Afghanistan, but there's always trouble.
Today is Fearless Maria's birthday. I wrote the following five years ago:
The first call came at 3:00 in the morning. My wife, already in the hospital on bed rest, was on the line. I was home with my son. She told me that I should be ready; the doctors were trying to slow things down, but it was possible that the baby was coming. The next call came at 3:30. This time it was a nurse; she told me that I should get over to the hospital, because the baby was coming. I called my mother-in-law and told her to come over to watch my son. I got in the shower and started thinking about how my life was about to change. About 4, my mother-in-law arrived. I was already dressed and we barely spoke as I headed for my car. It was snowing moderately - all told about 3 inches would fall that morning - as I slowly made my way down 694 to St. John's Hospital. I strolled in about 4:20, told the lady at the desk that my wife was in labor, and I headed for her room. It was strangely quiet. I walked right past the bassinet, not even realizing that my second child had already arrived. The doctor was cleaning up and my wife was lying in her bed, tired but happy. "It's Maria," she said. "She's right behind you - you walked right past her." Then I looked and realized that indeed, there was a baby in the bassinet. My daughter had arrived at 3:50 in the morning. I missed the moment, but immediately went over to see her. A nurse had her bundled and told me that I could pick her up and hold her. I did. For the next hour and a half, I held my daughter and tried to imagine what she would turn out to be. I talked to her and told her many things - how much I loved her, how happy we were, what a nice brother she had. I told her many things that morning. But mostly I wondered; who was this little girl?
Today Maria is 13 years old. I know many more things about Maria than I did that day, and she knows many more things about her father. When I wrote my essay initially, on the occasion of Maria's 8th birthday, I described her as follows:
Maria is sweet, silly, funny and amazingly smart. She has moments of amazing insight and some days she has a tongue like a lash. She's a good portion of the way through her childhood already. It goes by fast. She will change and grow in countless ways in the next 8 years, in ways I can hardly imagine. The one thing I know most of all; I am fortunate to be her father.
Five years on, much of that is still true. Some things have changed -- with increased maturity, she's less likely to let fly with a cutting remark than she was then. She's tried her hand at being a musician and a writer and has demonstrated significant talent in both. She's become an outstanding student. And her work ethic is top-notch, far better than mine.
You only get one shot at a childhood and Maria is making the most of hers. Things get more complicated as the years go on, but I'm confident she'll navigate it well. There's a song in The Sound of Music called "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria." While Maria is decidedly not a problem, at one point the following musical question is posed:
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her Many a thing she ought to understand But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say How do you keep a wave upon the sand
As far as I can tell, you can't keep a wave upon the sand. But you can appreciate the majesty of it and the power it possesses. We can be borne back ceaselessly into the past, as Fitzgerald suggests at the end of The Great Gatsby, or we can be the wave. I suspect Maria will know which is the better course.
Not much to say about the game, really. The 49ers were the better team last night. If the Packers want to win the Super Bowl next year, they need to get better. All you can do is tip your cap to the 49ers this time.
I will say this about the read-option, which quarterback Colin Kaepernick ran to perfection last night. NFL defensive coordinators will have an offseason to figure out the best way to handle it. Defensive coordinators figured out how to deal with the Wildcat and they will adjust. And the experience of Robert Griffin III will give teams pause as well. The Packers never really laid a glove on Kaepernick last night, but some other team will. And if Kaepernick is going to have a long career in the league, he'll need to avoid getting hit.
Can we all agree that Michael Bloomberg is one of the most odious people in public life? His latest pronouncement might be his worst yet:
“The city hospitals we control, so … we’re going to do it and we’re urging all of the other hospitals to do it, voluntary guidelines. Somebody said, oh, somebody wrote, ‘Oh then maybe there won’t be enough painkillers for the poor who use the emergency rooms as their primary care doctor,’” the mayor said on his weekly radio show with John Gambling. “Number one, there’s no evidence of that. Number two, supposing it is really true, so you didn’t get enough painkillers and you did have to suffer a little bit. The other side of the coin is people are dying and there’s nothing perfect … There’s nothing that you can possibly do where somebody isn’t going to suffer, and it’s always the same group [claiming], ‘Everybody is heartless.’ Come on, this is a very big problem.”
Bloomberg is talking about his dictate concerning limiting the use of painkillers in the emergency rooms of hospitals in New York City. As a rule, I don't wish ill on anyone, but it would be interesting to see how Bloomberg would react if he were on the business end of this particular dictate.
Less Godwin than earlier in the week, but on point (h/t Professor Reynolds):
Me, not thee
Meanwhile, we learn this morning that the law is open to interpretation if you have enough juice:
NBC’s David Gregory is off the hook for showing a high-capacity gun magazine on “Meet the Press” and will not be prosecuted, D.C.’s attorney general announced on Friday.
D.C. attorney general Irvin Nathan on Friday said he would decline to prosecute in the case involving the Sunday show host and any NBC staffers. In a letter to NBC’s attorney Lee Levine, Nathan wrote that after reviewing the matter, his office “has determined to exercise its prosecutorial discretion to decline to bring criminal charges against Mr. Gregory, who has no criminal record, or any other NBC employee based on the events associated” with the broadcast.
Why is the law important? If Gregory clearly violated the law, but there is no interest to be served in prosecuting him, doesn't that prove that the law is not important? If the precise thing that he did — which is clearly what is defined as a crime — raises no interest in prosecution, how can we be satisfied by letting this one nice famous man go? Rewrite the law so that it only covers the activity that the government believes deserves prosecution, so there is equal justice under the law.
Emphasis in original. I don't have a problem with prosecutorial discretion per se, but there's a pattern here and it's unsavory. And Althouse's question is the right one -- for laws to have respect, they need have a rational basis and ought to have universal application. That's clearly not the case in Washington, D.C.
Okay, now that we have the college football out of the way, it's NFL all the way, baby! And that means it's time for me to unleash the HYYYYYYYPPPPPPPE!
You unleash the HYYYYYYPPPPPE! at the drop of a hat, of course.
That's part of my charm, Geritol Fan!
Oh, so that's what they're calling it these days. Good to know!
Look, I've had quite enough of your elderly snarkiness. Watch me work!
Baltimore Ravens (+9.5) vs. Denver Broncos. Well, a lot of people think that Denver's going to win. It's not surprising that they feel this way, since the Broncos haven't lost since October, or something like that. I think the last time the Broncos were losing, we even were paying attention to Mitt Romney. Does anybody remember Mitt Romney? I remember Mitt Romney! But if you want to know about politics, check with Captain Ed or Brad. Or maybe even the old dude once in a while. The Broncos have just too good of a passing game -- in fact, Peyton Manning and Eric Decker led my fantasy team to many, many victories. Broncos 38, Ravens 17. Wow, 38 points? In what could be the last game for Ray Lewis? Hmmm. I think Denver's gonna win, too, but they won't get 38 points. As for Ray Lewis -- nice career. Stay away from the knife fights, okay? Denver 31, Baltimore 20. Glorious Green Bay Packers (+3) vs. San Francisco 49ers. Well, we get a rematch with our old friend Jim Harbaugh, who won't get the benefit of the replacement refs this time. No, I'm not talking about anything involving Golden Taint -- that's a different matter. I'm sure that the Vikings fans who regularly read this feature remember that the replacement refs gave Harbaugh about 34 challenges and 192 timeouts when they came to the Metrodome. And the 49ers still couldn't beat the Vikings! One thing I've noticed is that teams are struggling to counter DuJuan Harris, the pint-sized Packer running back sensation who they pulled off a car lot. He gets better mileage than anything he was attempting to sell. One good thing that is going the Packers' way is that stopping Joe Webb was good practice for dealing with Colin Kaepernick, the 49er quarterback with the Bible verses tattooed all over his arms. This guy can really run and has a decent arm, but teams have now had a chance to study his tricks and it seems like he's been getting less and less out of his runs in recent games. The Seahawks stopped him completely, and even the woeful Arizona Cardinals did fairly well against him. Meanwhile, Aaron Rodgers returns to his home state and his healthy grudge against the 49ers, who blew him off in the draft back in 2005. Here's a tip, guys -- don't make Aaron Rodgers want to beat you. Also, Jerry Rice still fumbled the football. Packers 28, 49ers 26. First, let's remind everyone what the Benster is talking about:
This was the 1998 playoffs and there's no question that Jerry Rice fumbled that day. No replay in those days, though, so the Packers ended up losing the game, which ended the Mike Holmgren era. We're now a long ways away from those days, but back in San Francisco. These teams have played a lot over the years and the games have generally been very good. This one will be, too. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to be very good tomorrow. But I'm afraid that the 49ers are a bad matchup, given their physicality. I hope I'm wrong, but: 49ers 28, Packers 26.
Old dude, hang your head in shame! Meanwhile, back to work.
Seattle Seabags (+2.5) vs. Hotlanta Dirty Birds. Well, this one is interesting. The Falcons are again the #1 seed and again, they get less respect than this guy:
No, that's not actually Falcons coach Mike Smith, although it's possible to be confused by it. Look, the Falcons have a good team but the problem they have is that they are not a good playoff team. They were the #1 seed two years ago and my Packers went into the Georgia Dome and hung 48 points on them. The Seahawks are not intimidated. That's a scary thing. Seahawks 48, Falcons 21. You're not gonna get a lot of love in the Buckhead with that pick, Grasshopper. I dunno -- the Falcons played very well at times this year, but they were kinda iffy down the stretch. The Seahawks are on a mission and that's a problem for Atlanta. Defense is the key and the Seahawks are better at it. Seattle 24, Atlanta 17. Houston Texans (+9.5) vs. New England Belichicks. Houston, we have a problem. You were just up in New England a few weeks ago and you got crushed. Destroyed. Annihilated. Dominated. You know what -- it doesn't matter! The Patriots have not played for a week. And Houston played well last week in dispatching the Bengals. Now the Patriots in recent years have struggled to win playoff games at home, which is a bit odd, but there's a history and they have to be aware of it. Houston is also a dangerous team and they won't be happy about what happened to them last time. Houston 42, New England 17. Didn't see that one coming. And you know what? I still don't see it. New England 34, Houston 24.
I'd like to give a shout-out to Fearless Maria -- her birthday is coming up on Tuesday and as annoying little sisters go, she's all right. Ben out!
I'm just going to go on record that I find it a hypocrisy that sports writers who spent years reporting and cheering for the Home Runs and expanded stats of The Roid Era (even when it was not-too-unclear that there was some steroid abuse or something... going on) and now it appears they can't seem to find anybody worthy from The Roid Era for the Hall Of Fame.
The key word in that paragraph? Cheering. And that's what I think we need to remember. Here's a little taste of the conventional wisdom of 1998:
McGwire and Sosa gave America a summer that won't be forgotten: a summer of stroke and counterstroke, of packed houses and curtain calls, of rivals embracing and gloves in the bleachers and adults turned into kids -- the Summer of Long Balls and Love. It wasn't just the lengths they went to with bats in their hands. It was also that they went to such lengths to conduct the great home run race with dignity and sportsmanship, with a sense of joy and openness. Never have two men chased legends and each other that hard and that long or invited so much of America onto their backs for the ride.
That's Gary Smith of Sports Illustrated, explaining why Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were both named Sportsman of the Year for 1998. The cover is a riot, too:
Can't even see the back acne
I don't mean to pick on Smith -- there was a lot of this sort of purple prose back then. And when it all turned out to be a facade, that really angered a lot of people. There's a tendency in sports writing, and sports writers, to either hype or deflate. It's baked in, going all the way back to Grantland Rice:
"Outlined against a blue, gray October sky the Four Horsemen rode again.
"In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Stuhldreher, Miller, Crowley and Layden. They formed the crest of the South Bend cyclone before which another fighting Army team was swept over the precipice at the Polo Grounds this afternoon as 55,000 spectators peered down upon the bewildering panorama spread out upon the green plain below."
In other words, we've been dealing with fanboys since at least 1922. And when you let fanboys run your club, emotions can rule the day.
We're not close to sussing out the real meaning of the Steroid Era yet, because we are still way too close to it. It's going to take another 10-20 years before we have sufficient perspective. I would guess that, at some point, we'll have to take what happened in the 1990s and early 2000s and assign it a context of strangeness, just as baseball historians have come to understand that baseball in the 1920s was a significantly different game than it was in the 1960s.
Mitch Berg, discussing some of the (ahem) machinations within the Minnesota GOP in the past year or so, says what needs to be said:
And in the GOP right now there are a slew of factions: the Ronulans, the Tea Partiers, Fiscalcons, Socialcons, “Moderates”, pragmatists, Security Republicans and a few others. And none of them – not even the Ron Paul faction – are strong enough to both change the party and win elections. None.
One way or another, this party is going to be run – and this state is going to be saved – by a coalition of people from any and all of those factions who are focused on getting stuff done.
Or, y’know, not; it’s entirely possible the GOP will be taken over by people who argue to the death over the inconsequential as the state follows Greece and Portugal and California straight to hell.
Emphasis in original, both in typeface and insight.
Whether you wanted a "Better Minnesota" or not, you're gonna get one. And it's gonna cost you:
While Smith didn't offer specifics, Dayton has said he will propose an income tax increase on the top 2 percent of earners. She noted that the highest earners pay about 9.7 percent of their incomes to state and local taxes, while middle-class earners pay about 12.3 percent.
The Smith in question is Tina Smith, Gov. Dayton's chief of staff. And she's got the usual false narrative set up as well:
"And to those who think cuts are the only answer, we challenge you -- with sincerity -- to tell us what exactly you believe government can stop doing."
It's not beyond the pale to ask if government can do things more efficiently, of course, but this is a version of the old "fire the firemen" routine you always get from folks like Smith. It's designed to cut off debate and there's no "sincerity" involved whatsoever.
I do think Weigel’s right that people are overreacting to the prospect of The One issuing some sort of executive order on guns. For one thing, it’d be uncharacteristic of him to risk his own political capital by acting unilaterally on something as controversial as that. He wants Congress to take the lead on this (as usual) so that he bears as little responsibility as possible if it fails or even if it succeeds and there’s a major backlash. He may issue an order but it’ll deal with marginal stuff. If he did issue one that was more ambitious, there’d be so much outcry and so many lawsuits that his second term would be tangled up in this for months or years. And he doesn’t want that. When push comes to shove, I don’t think he cares much about guns. He’d be happy to ban them, I’m sure, but my sense is that it’s not the sort of thing that drives him. What drives him is the “fairness” that comes with raising taxes by four or five percent on rich people and then doing jack about entitlements while the treasury slowly melts down from unfunded obligations. That’s the sort of thing of which great presidential legacies are made.
On Wednesday, the BBWAA announced its 2013 results live on MLB Network, and not one of the 37 candidates eligible for election was named to the necessary 75% of ballots. First-time candidate Craig Biggio came closest, as he was named on 68.2% of ballots (39 votes short of election). In his 14th and penultimate year on the ballot, Jack Morris checked in at 67.7% (up just 1.0% from last year).
As for the elephants in the room, Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, in their first appearances on the BBWAA ballot, notched, respectively, 37.6% and 36.2%.
As a consequence, no living inductee will be present at the ceremonies in Cooperstown for the first time since 1960. The Veterans' Committee previously voted in 19th-century star Deacon White, former Yankees owner Jacob Ruppert and umpire Hank O'Day, all deceased.
I'm torn about this result. If I'd had a ballot, I'd have voted for Biggio, Morris, Tim Raines, Alan Trammell and Dale Murphy. I think the two players most wronged by this result are Morris and Murphy, who are coming to the end of their eligibility period. Morris remains a controversial pick, because the stat heads have largely deemed him unworthy because of his somewhat unsightly 3.90 career ERA. My view has always been that you have to look at more than the stats and what I remember about Morris is that he was probably the best starting pitcher in the American League for most of the 1980s. He won a lot of games for the Detroit Tigers in that era. The stat heads argue that guys like Dave Stieb were better, but I don't think so.
Maybe next year, dude
As for Biggio, he's almost a certain Hall of Famer eventually. It would have been nice to have him make it on the first ballot, but since contemporaries Roberto Alomar and Barry Larkin both had to wait a while, I don't feel horrible for Biggio. I think Biggio, Alomar and Larkin were comparable players.
Raines and Trammell both deserve to be in the Hall. I think Raines will make it, since he got 52% of the vote this time and his percentage has been climbing every year. Trammell's candidacy is in trouble, because he's sitting at 36% and he only has 3 years of eligibility left. I suspect the Veteran's Committee will rectify the error, but their ministrations didn't do much for Ron Santo. If you were watching baseball in the 1980s, you know that Trammell was a tremendous player -- smart, excellent fielder and a very, very good hitter. His problem is that he was a contemporary of Robin Yount and Cal Ripken, who were better. But that doesn't mean Trammell isn't HOF worthy, in my view.
We'll get back to this topic again in the coming days, I think, since there are a lot of other stories involved in today's vote.
It's easy to be tired of the SEC and their imperious brand of football, but unless and until someone else beats their teams, and Alabama in particular, they will continue to hold hegemony in the sport. Notre Dame had a nice season but they weren't even close to the second-best team in the country. And while I posted the Monty Python video last night in jest, it was actually a pretty apt summation of what happened in Florida yesterday. Notre Dame isn't ready for prime time yet.
President Obama nominated Chuck Hagel and John Brennan for key spots in his administration yesterday -- Hagel to run Defense and Brennan to run the CIA. There are a lot of people squawking that the two gentlemen in question tend to be, at best, skeptical about Israel. In the case of Hagel, there's a record of open hostility. For what it's worth, it might be better for Israel to know that the current U.S. administration is actively hostile to its government. If you know something up front, you can chart your course accordingly. And whatever you think of Hagel and Brennan, the president should get a certain amount of deference in choosing his team. Not that such deference happens very often.
The new DFL lege arrives today. The DFL has been waiting for this moment for 20 years -- total control of state government. It may not go well, though, since all the goodies they'd like to disburse will require raising taxes and the feds got there first. As I've mentioned before, we're going to see a very interesting study in contrasts on either side of the St. Croix this year, with Wisconsin now being in Republican hands. Let's see which state does better in the next two years.
As a public service, allow me to present the highlights of the BCS National Championship Game between Alabama (in the reddish uniforms) and Notre Dame (resplendent, as always, in their traditional Blue and Gold):
I wrote briefly last week about a somewhat intemperate screed by one Donald Kaul, an apparently dyspeptic Iowan who offered this charming suggestion for resolving the gun control debate in a way that might be somewhat persuasive:
I would tie Mitch McConnell and John Boehner, our esteemed Republican
leaders, to the back of a Chevy pickup truck and drag them around a
parking lot until they saw the light on gun control.
Not surprisingly, that approach didn't go over so well with the readership at the Des Moines Register, so this week Kaul is back to patiently explain how he was just kidding:
Gun owners seemed particularly upset at the suggestion that Boehner
and McConnell be dragged. The tactic, which dates back to the days of
lynch mobs, became a more modern nightmare in the wake of the 1998
dragging murder of James Byrd by white supremacists in Texas. Many of
the people I heard from said I should be arrested for threatening
federal officials, and one said he had personally reported me to the
FBI.
Let me say this about that: That wasn’t a suggestion to be taken
literally. I don’t believe Boehner and McConnell should be dragged. I
was using it as a metaphor for making politicians pay a price for their
inability to confront the gun lobby. It’s a literary device.
Think of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” written 200 years
ago, in which he suggested that the Irish famine could be relieved if
babies of poor families were confiscated at 12 months and sold to rich
people, who could eat them.
Swift, an Irishman, didn’t mean that literally. It was a satiric
device to underline the misery that had been visited on the Irish by
their English landlords.
So too with my dragging of the Republican leaders.
I think there's a rule of thumb here -- able satirists have other people who compare their work to Swift. Crappy satirists compare their own work to Swift.
I've often suggested in this space that particularly excitable people ought to try the decaf. Perhaps Mr. Kaul might want to consider trying the Kaopectate.
The Christian Science Monitor tells us something we all knew:
It was always a big question whether Americans would buy very, very small cars.
When the Smart ForTwo launched in 2008, right into the teeth of gas prices that soared to $4 a gallon, it looked as if the answer might be yes.
But now it seems the longer-term answer is, "No, not really."
Sales of the Smart ForTwo minicar have remained at low levels--10,009 in 2012, after totals of 5,348 in 2011, 5,927 in 2010, and 14,600 in 2009.
In fact, they never again reached the lofty heights of 2008, the ForTwo's first year on sale, when it sold 24,622 units--far higher than the annual goal of 16,000.
By comparison, the sales figures of Chevy Suburban and GMC Yukon XL (essentially the same vehicle) have never been less than 57,000/year in the same period. None of which should be surprising.
Driving a small car is fine if you like small cars, but most people, if given a preference, won't buy a tiny car like a Smart car, because, well, buying one isn't very smart. You can do a lot of things in a Toyota Corolla that you can't do with a Smart car -- carry more than one passenger, carry gear, etc. You can do even more of the same with a larger vehicle.
I suspect the Smart car would be a useful conveyance in a place like Wrigleyville in Chicago, where parking is at a premium. But out in suburbia, it doesn't make a lot of sense. And while we are always treated to disquisitions about how urban living is making a comeback, there are still a lot more suburbanites and small-town folks who need to haul stuff out in the marketplace.
A few thoughts after a relatively easy win for the Packers.
I've heard and read a lot of complaints about Viking Offensive Coordinator Bill Musgrave's decision to have Joe Webb stand in the pocket, especially since he's not that good at it. I'm not sure how you prepare two separate game plans, though -- even the Vikings, it would seem, assumed that Christian Ponder would be able to give it a go last night until it became evident that he couldn't. I think the larger issue is that the Vikings didn't have a capable backup on the roster.
Having said that, the Vikings have also come in for criticism because they cut Sage Rosenfels at the beginning of the season. As it happens, Rosenfels has been available for anyone to sign since he was released in September. That no one in the NFL thought it necessary to bring him on should tell you everything you need to know about Rosenfels.
Adrian Peterson is an amazing player, but football isn't a game where even one completely dominant player can carry a team all the way through. The Vikings need help at their other skill positions.
As for my beloved Packers, it was a workmanlike performance. This team is probably better prepared for what it's likely to face now than it was last year. DuJuan Harris has turned out to be a nice find -- he's got some of the same skill set as Maurice Jones-Drew, especially his ability to catch the football, which made a difference in a few drives last night. The defense also played better last night, which is good because they'll need to be even better if they're going to win in San Francisco.
You cannot underestimate how important Charles Woodson is to the Packers. He didn't make a ton of tackles last night, but he did a lot to confuse the Viking blockers, which allowed other Packers to get pressure on Webb. If he can confuse Colin Kaepernick, the Packers will have a chance.
You'd better strap it on, old dude. I'm ready to bring the HYYYYYYYPPPPPPPE!
I'm afraid to ask.
You should be. It is time. Ask this guy:
That's what you need to know, Geritol Fan! Watch me work!
Cincinnati Bengals (+4.5) vs. Houston Texans. Houston, we have a problem. Houston is going into the playoffs in just the wrong way. They've been beaten twice in the last few weeks, both by playoff teams, the Vikings (about which more in a moment) and the Colts. Now they play another playoff team in the playoffs. Okay, does that make your head spin? Apparently their heads are spinning in Houston. The bottom line is this: Andy Dalton is good, but he's facing a much better Houston team than he did a year ago. J. J. Watt has come on the scene, though not unexpectedly, for he did a lot of disruptive things in a Badger uniform. He's now probably one of the top two or three defensive ends in the league. Texans 31, Bengals 11. That's an odd score. Oh well. I think Houston will right the ship as well, but I don't like their chances in New England if they win. Enjoy it while you can, kids! Texans 27, Bengals 20. Minnesota Vikings (+7.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. So, do you know where they are playing the game this week? That's right, baby -- the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. A lot of my friends are saying the Packers cannot win this game. Of course, they are high school students and they are mistaken. Over the last five games, the Packers have averaged nearly 400 yards of offense and have scored over 30 points multiple times. The last time they were in Lambeau, they dropped 55 on the hapless Tennessee Titans, and it could have been more. The Vikings are better than the Titans, of course, but if Antoine Winfield can't play or is limited in his effectiveness, which seems likely because he has a FREAKING BROKEN HAND, I'm not sure how the Vikings will be able to handle the Packer offense. The major question in this game is how do you stop Adrian Peterson, short of a court order? I know the answer -- you score a lot of points and force Christian Ponder to beat you. I don't think he can do it, because he's not likely to get as many lucky breaks as he did last week in the Metrodome. If he throws a pass into traffic and Charles Woodson is there, and he will be this week, it won't go through the defender's hands and into the hands of Michael Jenkins, or Jarius Wright. Packers 38, Vikings 24. Adrian Peterson has had one of the most remarkable years in NFL history. It's been astonishing, really. But it ends tomorrow. He's been battling injuries for about a month now, especially the abdominal injury he has been suffering through for the past few weeks. Because the game is Saturday, not Sunday, he loses a day of rest and recuperation. That doesn't help the Vikings. Second, Seabiscuit is correct -- Charles Woodson will make some plays tomorrow. And for the first time in a long time, the Packers will have their full complement of receivers. The Vikings have been a great story but they won't be able to sustain it tomorrow. Packers 31, Vikings 21. Indianapolis Lucks (+6.5) vs. Baltimore Ravens. Don't get me wrong -- the Colts have also been a great story this year and there's always the revenge factor involved any time the Colts franchise returns to Baltimore, but the issue I'm seeing for the Colts is that Chuck Pagano has not done a whole lot of coaching, for obvious reasons, and it takes time to get back into the coaching mentality. And the playoffs are no time to be easing into things. My Ravens source tells me that Baltimore has been a good team but Joe Flacco is holding them back from being that elite team that we've expected them to be the past few years. Ravens 17, Colts 13. I'm bored with the Ravens. Time for something new. Have fun working for ESPN, Ray Lewis! Colts 23, Ravens 20. Seattle Seabags (-3) vs. Washington Redskins. Okay, here's the game with HYYYYYPPPPE! It's RG3 vs. Russell Wilson, mano a mano, baby! The problem I have with the Seahawks is quite obvious -- they are the team that has benefited from the horrible replacement ref-induced Fail Mary play that has hurt my beloved Packers! Now, don't get me wrong -- we still love Russell Wilson. Really. But now he's leading the forces of darkness and bad Nike clothing design. I mean, have you seen those Seahawks jerseys? It looks someone threw seaweed on them! The bottom line is that Seattle has the better team, even though they are coached by a weasel named Pete Carroll and employ the Dread Pirate Golden Taint, who claimed that the hand of God helped him make that catch. I wonder if he used the hand of God to push off, too. 12th Man 49, RG3 0. Uh, no. I'm tempted to pick the Redskins here, but I think Seattle is better. But it's going to be close. I think Seattle's defense is the difference here. Seahawks 20, Redskins 13. NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME -- Alabama Crimson Tide (-10) vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish, in Miami. I think I speak for all college football fans and right-thinking Americans in saying this -- the SEC needs to go down. Hard. Really, really hard. I'm sick and tired of the way that SEC teams get the benefit of the doubt every time. Did you see Oregon play last night? Do you think the Ducks are less worthy than the Crimson Tide? I don't think so. Alabama's lucky -- they found the right week to lose, which was a week before Oregon lost their game. That's not justice, or even logical. Fortunately, the playoffs are coming soon. As for the game itself, the key for Notre Dame is to get Everett Golson out on the perimeter where he can make some plays, kinda like Johnny Manziel did. Make those crimson-clad defenders have to chase you a little bit and wear them down. I'm no Notre Dame fan, but in this case I have to go with the lesser of two evils. Irish 23, Tide Rolled 22. I like that pick. Boy, do I hate rooting for Notre Dame -- like most Catholic boys, you either love 'em or hate 'em and I've always hated 'em, especially when my high school guidance counselor seemed particularly insistent that I should go there. But I'll set that aside this time. Still, there's a distinction between rooting interest and picks. And while my heart reluctantly is with ND, my head says Tide. Alabama 24, Notre Dame 17.
If this were any other post-season, I would root for the Vikings. But not this week, pal! Ben out!
The magazine profile sometimes seems like a lost art, especially in a world where a short attention span is rewarded and many magazines are struggling to find readers. If you want to remember how it used to be done, check out this excellent profile from Adam Green in the New Yorker concerning the career of one Apollo Robbins. An excerpt:
Robbins, who is thirty-eight and lives in Las Vegas, is a peculiar variety-arts hybrid, known in the trade as a theatrical pickpocket. Among his peers, he is widely considered the best in the world at what he does, which is taking things from people’s jackets, pants, purses, wrists, fingers, and necks, then returning them in amusing and mind-boggling ways. Robbins works smoothly and invisibly, with a diffident charm that belies his talent for larceny. One senses that he would prosper on the other side of the law. “You have to ask yourself one question,” he often says as he holds up a wallet or a watch that he has just swiped. “Am I being paid enough to give it back?”
In more than a decade as a full-time entertainer, Robbins has taken (and returned) a lot of stuff, including items from well-known figures in the worlds of entertainment (Jennifer Garner, actress: engagement ring); sports (Charles Barkley, former N.B.A. star: wad of cash); and business (Ace Greenberg, former chairman of Bear Stearns: Patek Philippe watch). He is probably best known for an encounter with Jimmy Carter’s Secret Service detail in 2001. While Carter was at dinner, Robbins struck up a conversation with several of his Secret Service men. Within a few minutes, he had emptied the agents’ pockets of pretty much everything but their guns. Robbins brandished a copy of Carter’s itinerary, and when an agent snatched it back he said, “You don’t have the authorization to see that!” When the agent felt for his badge, Robbins produced it and handed it back. Then he turned to the head of the detail and handed him his watch, his badge, and the keys to the Carter motorcade.
Fearless Maria is back after a long absence, but she's ready to rock!
Are you sure about that, Dad? How would you know? Are you making observations based on my current mannerisms? Because it's not like I'm jumping around like a crazy person. Just sayin'. Although I am happy to be here. And you're here, too, fellas, if you started reading this far. And don't you dare stop because you know too much already!
I'm not sure what any of that meant, actually.
Well, Dad, do you know what meiosis means?
I prefer mitosis, actually.
How do you remember stuff from 7th grade science? My point there was to say that you can't know what everything means, because no one knows what everything means. Though, unfortunately, because I haven't done extensive research on the matter, it seems that you break that trend and know every stinkin' little thing!
Well, I did pretty well in 7th grade science. Mr. Skahen was a good teacher, even if he was a little out there. I think he was sniffing the Bunsen burners too much.
And our science teacher, Mr. Miller, just burns popcorn in the microwave. That's probably safer.
It's the march of science, Maria.
Well, Dad, I've gone through quite a few years of science, so I don't think you can blind me with science. But maybe we can blind the audience with some oldies.
We'll spare them the Thomas Dolby, though.
That's probably a good life choice. Let's do songs that were #1 on New Year's Day! Have you picked out a few for my critique?
Oh yeah. First, let's begin with 1965, featuring four lads from Liverpool:
It's the Beatles, with "I Feel Fine."
What are Ringo and George doing? Ringo is supposed to be playing the drums, man! What is that all about? And did George put that boxing speed bag in front of his face so that people couldn't tell how bad he was lip syncing?
It wasn't exactly Lifetime Fitness.
More like Lifetime Clueless, Dad! It's the Beatles, so you know it's going to be a good song and that they won't be dressed too bad, unless they're in India or something. Hopefully Ringo worked up some cardio so he can carry his drum kit to the next gig. Speaking of the next gig, what's next, Dad?
So we go up two years to 1967, from the Fab Four to the Prefab Four:
It's the Monkees, with Peter Tork not quite getting the romance part right, in "I'm a Believer." And in case you care, the actress playing the love interest is Lisa James.
I'm sorry, but I don't get the coat over the puddle thing. It's gonna ruin someone's coat and then you have to pick up the coat and put it in your car and it will be soaking wet and nasty and yucky! C'mon Peter Tork, just walk around the puddle! There are kids in [insert Third World Country here] who could have used that coat! It's wasteful, I tell you! A disgrace! Oh, yeah, the song. Sure, the song is okay -- it has a nice beat, even if Peter Tork doesn't seem to be getting the beat of love. Not that I know what that is yet.
Well, you can wait for that.
Oh yes. I can wait years. At least until I'm out of middle school and probably the majority of high school, too. Not that I'm trying to offend the middle school boys I know, even if they are highly dorky.
It's an occupational hazard of the 7th grade, Maria.
True. What's next?
How about 1968? Mom likes this one:
It's Marvin Gaye, with the eternal classic "I Heard It Through the Grapevine."
Mom's favorite non-Luther Vandross song, right? It's a great one -- I've always liked it, because it's nice and simple. Psy and Carly Rae Jepsen should really hold a seance and speak with the ghost of Marvin Gaye. He could tell them a thing or two about good songs!
I don't think Marvin Gaye would have used AutoTune.
That's because he had talent, Dad! Cue the background "ooooh, sick burn!" What have we next?
Let's move it up to 1976. This was the song that was #1 when Uncle Mike made his debut:
Straight out of Scotland, it's the Bay City Rollers with "Saturday Night."
From Scotland? Well, on the bright side they weren't wearing kilts! That would have been very brave. And at least they didn't have to get down on Saturday like Rebecca Black did on Friday. Well, I guess I like the song okay. They've got their nice little cheer going in the beginning and the middle. Were they supposed to be like the Monkees or something?
They did get on television a lot. I think they actually debuted on a variety show with Howard Cosell.
Seriously? Howard Cosell? Somehow I can't see Howard Cosell dancing around on Saturday Night!
Well, it might have knocked off his toupee.
I definitely wouldn't want to have seen that! What's next?
How about something that seemed very sad at the time. The year? 1981:
The song is "(Just Like) Starting Over," by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Unfortunately, this was posthumous on New Year's Day 1981.
And I still find that very sad today. I kinda wonder if John Lennon had a feeling that something was going to happen to him, or if it was completely out of the blue for him?
None of us saw it coming, Maria. I was a senior in high school at the time and it was a huge shock.
Now remember, I DO NOT LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER WHATSOEVER, but would it be like if some pop star like Bieber died?
No, because no one's going to remember Justin Bieber in 30 years. People still remember John Lennon very well.
Well, that makes it more depressing because that means none of our pop stars are worth remembering! Is our generation cursed? Well, in all honesty I'm not sure I'll want to remember Justin Bieber in 30 years either, but there has to be someone we'll remember.
You never know. There might be some musical genius out there. Maybe that Bruno Mars dude, or Adele. Bruno wears nice hats.
That's the first thing you noticed, of course. But it is a pretty cool hat. Cop gotta hat? Bruno want a hat!
Nice WKRP in Cincinnati reference, Maria!
My pleasure. Now do we have one more?
Sure. Let's go to 1984 and a former associate of Mr. Lennon, with some help:
It's Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson, with "Say Say Say."
Scam artists? Paul, Michael -- how could betray us with a life of crime! You're musicians, for goodness sakes! And successful ones too! And Paul even got his wife Linda involved in the scam! Someone tell Jesse Ventura -- it's a conspiracy!
I think it's a work of fiction, Maria.
Hey, I'm perfectly aware of that, Dad! Come on, you need to get with the program here! I can't be the one providing all the entertainment value in this post! Step up your game!
Oh. Sorry.
Now don't get all huffy and hurt-acting, Dad! No one's gonna believe it, anyway.
Good point. So what's next?
Well, the punks readers of of this fine post need to step up their game and vote from the choices below!
Value Added Tax: Huge revenue-raiser, which is why Republicans hate it. Value added taxes are very hard to dodge, because it's largely self enforcing: if you don't pay the tax, the people you sell to have to pay it, so they tend to demand proof you've paid. Unfortunately, as with all sales tax variants, it's hard to make the thing progressive; exempting "necessary" goods and services only gets you so far. So it's not very popular with Democrats, either. We may end up with a VAT, but only when we're really desperate.
Al Jazeera on Wednesday completed a deal to take over Current TV, the low-rated cable channel that was founded by Al Gore and his business partners seven years ago.
Current will provide the pan-Arab news giant with something it has sought for years: a pathway into American living rooms. Current is available in about 60 million of the 100 million homes in the United States with cable or satellite service.
Rather than simply use Current to distribute its English-language channel, called Al Jazeera English and based in Doha, Qatar, Al Jazeera will create a new channel, called Al Jazeera America, based in New York. Roughly 60 percent of the programming will be produced in the United States, while the remaining 40 percent will come from Al Jazeera English.
Global warming? Old and busted. Global jihad? Hotness. And the good news -- if Chuck Hagel bombs out on the SecDef thing, he'll have a gig for certain now.
This might be the most frustrating thing I've read yet regarding the fiscal cliff:
Unfortunately, much of the media have accepted the Obama narrative that it's only Republican rigidity that frustrates negotiations and leads to deadlock. This means, of course, that there's even less incentive for Obama and congressional Democrats to engage in genuine bargaining.
The result is that we're not getting the debate we deserve and that budget choices are being made mainly by default. Just as important, the periodic, ugly confrontations over budget policy -- the paralysis and bitterness they involve -- corrode confidence and weaken the economy. A weak economy creates few new jobs, and the lack of jobs is the nation's No. 1 social problem. Obama's abdication of responsibility may be in his political self-interest, but it is profoundly hostile to the national interest.
So, who wrote that? Ed Morrissey? Mitch Berg? Rush Limbaugh? None of those, of course. Your mystery author is Robert Samuelson, who has had a prime media seat at Newsweek and the Washington Post since the days of Jimmy Carter. Samuelson is the son of Paul Samuelson, who won the first Nobel Prize in Economics.
If you think Samuelson is late to the party, you'd be wrong. Here he is in February, 2008:
A favorite Obama line is that he will tell "the American people not just what they want to hear but what we need to know." Well, he hasn't so far. Consider the retiring baby boomers. A truth-telling Obama might say: "Spending for retirees -- mainly Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid -- is already nearly half the federal budget. Unless we curb these rising costs, we will crush our children with higher taxes. Reflecting longer life expectancies, we should gradually raise the eligibility ages for these programs and trim benefits for wealthier retirees. Both Democrats and Republicans are to blame for inaction. Waiting longer will only worsen the problem."
Instead, Obama pledges not to raise the retirement age and to "protect Social Security benefits for current and future beneficiaries." This isn't "change"; it's sanctification of the status quo. He would also exempt all retirees making less than $50,000 annually from income tax. By his math, that would provide average tax relief of $1,400 to 7 million retirees -- shifting more of the tax burden onto younger workers. Obama's main proposal for Social Security is to raise the payroll tax beyond the present $102,000 ceiling.
Political candidates routinely indulge in exaggeration, pandering, inconsistency and self-serving obscuration. Clinton and McCain do. The reason for holding Obama to a higher standard is that it's his standard and also his campaign's central theme. He has run on the vague promise of "change," but on issue after issue -- immigration, the economy, global warming -- he has offered boilerplate policies that evade the underlying causes of the stalemates. These issues remain contentious because they involve real conflicts or differences of opinion.
The contrast between his broad rhetoric and his narrow agenda is stark, and yet the media -- preoccupied with the political "horse race" -- have treated his invocation of "change" as a serious idea rather than a shallow campaign slogan. He seems to have hypnotized much of the media and the public with his eloquence and the symbolism of his life story. The result is a mass delusion that Obama is forthrightly engaging the nation's major problems when, so far, he isn't.
Five years on, Obama's no more forthright in engaging problems than he was in 2008. The one thing that Samuelson had wrong in 2008 is this -- there's no hypnosis involved, at least not any more. What we are dealing with is willful delusion.
But what happens now that Obama has gotten his way? It will soon become apparent that the fiscal cliff deal, including precisely the tax increases that Obama has been demanding for four years, makes hardly a dent in the deficit. At best, it will reduce the deficit by five or six percent. We will continue to run up deficits of close to $1 trillion a year, and the national debt will continue to grow, as Obama has always intended. This fact can’t be hidden; it will be reported. Journalists who have pulled their punches in the past because they wanted Obama to be re-elected will now begin to ask, what are we going to do about the deficit and the debt? At some point, perhaps sooner rather than later, interest rates will begin to rise, at which point the debt issue will become a crisis. And Republicans will say: we told you so.
The Democrats will have only three choices: they can try to raise taxes on the “rich” even higher. But raising them to 100% wouldn’t deal with the deficit, even if you assume all those rich people are willing to work for free. The second option is to restrain federal spending. The Democrats would rather die than do that. The third option is to try to raise taxes on all those millions of Americans who aren’t rich. That is what the Democrats will do once the moment arrives when they can no longer ignore the trillions of dollars in debt they are inflicting on our children. That will be, politically, a very bad moment for the Democrats and a very good one for the Republicans, who can offer the alternative of less spending and who will have been proved right with respect to the biggest policy debate of recent years.
Nope. It will be George W. Bush's fault. Or John Boehner's. Or someone's. It is never the fault of the Democrats. Ever.
Also, I'll wait to see when a Republican seriously offers less spending. Republicans had a chance to do that eight years ago and it didn't happen and they've been in the wilderness ever since.
But back to Hinderaker:
All of this is another way of saying that, with the Democrats’ BS about raising taxes on the rich out of the way, we can have a rational debate about the country’s fiscal future. And that is a debate the GOP can win, as most voters continue to believe that it is better to cut spending than to raise taxes on them. So let’s not despair: the post-cliff landscape may well prove favorable to the sorts of reforms that have been impossible for the last four years.
I hope we can have a rational debate. Based on what I saw in 2012, I am not confident we'll have one.
Now that we've kicked 2012 to the curb, what can we expect in 2013? Let's make a few guesses:
In Minnesota, the DFL will try to impose its will. While we are hearing some conciliatory messaging from a few members of the leadership in St. Paul, there's a lot of pent-up demand for action. Since the Republicans aren't in a position to stop things and there's little chance that the DFL will face any adversaries in the local media, we'll see an interesting contrast between what happens in St. Paul and what happens elsewhere in the Midwest (cf. Madison, Lansing, Indianapolis).
Obamacare is due for implementation in 2013, but it's not going to go well. You'll see a lot of pushback at the state level (although not here in Minnesota) and as people start to realize what it actually portends, it's going to get ugly.
The economy will likely sputter and may end up going into recession. Rising taxes will not help.
The Supreme Court will strike down DOMA but will also strike down the Ninth Circuit's ruling on Prop 8. Californians will then begin work on repealing Prop 8 through the political process.
Things will get worse, a lot worse, in Syria.
Gun control will go nowhere.
The Bears and their many fans will come to regret the firing of Lovie Smith.
George W. Bush will still be responsible for every bad thing that happens.
Gee, that sounds cheery, now doesn't it? Feel free to post your guesses in the comment section!
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