Saturday, December 10, 2016

Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Run the Table Edition

I had to steal this title from what is now the mantra of the Green Bay Packers -- yes, friends--

What are you, Jim Nantz?

Get the Nantz out of your pants, old dude. Let me finish my brilliant thought. All the Packers need to do is run the table.

It feels more like this to me:

I'll tell you what -- those people are running faster than Joey did:

Oooh, that video sucks. Now that we've gotten our kitsch quotient for the week out of the way, it's time to feel the HYYYYYPPPPPE! and watch me work!

Minnesota Vikings (-3) vs. Jacksonville Jag-u-wires. The good news for the Vikings this week is that Mike Zimmer was cleared to travel for this game. He even has a special outfit planned to protect him this week:

Have you ever considered a career in piracy?
However, the Vikings do have a problem. This game has trap written all over it. Even though the temperature will not be nasty down in sunny North Florida, the Jaguars are decent at home, and they can score. The Vikings defense played very well last week against the Cowboys, but got let down by special teams miscues and the general ineptitude of their offensive line, which has been banged up all year. I am probably going to be criticized for this, but it's well known that I have no shame. Jaguars 20, Vikings 9.

Actually, that's plausible. The Jags are a strange bunch -- they have a poor record, but they have good talent on both sides of the ball. The Vikings will have a fight on their hands for sure, because the team is offensively challenged, to say the least. I think it's a low-scoring affair. Vikings 16, Jaguars 13.

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (+7) vs. Detroit LOLions. The Lions have surprisingly not folded yet. By this time most seasons, they are irrelevant and already deep into their planning to botch the draft. This year, however, it's been different. And the reason is they win close games. However, yet again, that is difficult to sustain. Make no mistake, the Bears are a sad, pathetic shell of a team. Here is a picture from a recent practice:

If you look carefully, you can see Jay Cutler 
Somebody has to win this game, right? Yeah, somebody does. Da Bearz 31 LOLions 24.

Uh, no. I'd love that result, but it's not bloody likely. The Lions are actually pretty solid and I have been consistently impressed by the improved play of Matt Stafford, who has finally learned that you need to look at the whole field now that Megatron is gone. I do think the Lions defense can be had, but the Bears are so injury riddled that it's difficult to see how they score much, especially since I am assuming Jordan Howard will have seven guys draped all over him. Lions 23, Bears 17.

Seattle Seabags (-3) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. This game is going to be fun. Green Bay is projected to get a lot of snow tomorrow. Maybe not this much, but close:

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
Seattle is a very good team, but not having Earl Thomas available is going to change their defensive capabilities. Aaron Rodgers has gone on record saying he prefers to play in the snow and in a game where the pass rush should be less effective, both quarterbacks should be able to get outside the pocket. I think it's smart to go with the ever-popular "desperate team at home" approach to this one. Packers 31, Seabags 24.

I think the two most important players in this game are Jimmy Graham and Jared Cook, the respective tight ends for these squads. I think there's damage to be done in the middle of the field and both tight ends are big, athletic targets. Both Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson are less than 100% healthy, but they should be able to move somewhat. Home team advantage? Yes, I think so. Packers 24, Seahawks 23.

Run the table, baby! Ben out!

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