Benster and D Pick Your Games -- Police Blotter Edition

Old dude, it's a regular crime spree in football these days! Ray Rice is in trouble, Josh Gordon won't admit that he is a druggie and is selling cars at a lot somewhere in Northeastern Ohio. What is going on in this league?

I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around it myself. I have to rely on my favorite football mind to explain things to me:

That was clarifying. Still, I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. We need less domestic struggle and more football, I think.

I agree, Geritol Fan! James Brown needs to stop talking about social stuff and more about the game. Watch me work!

Minnesota Golden Gophers (+15) vs. Texas Christian Horned Frogs. Minnesota has shown progress but traveling down to Fort Worth should cause a problem. Mitch Leidner is hurt and if he plays I would not be surprised if his instincts to be mobile will be possibly curtailed. TCU is a sneaky team and the Gophers are looking shaky after playing subpar halves against minnows. That is a recipe for disaster and Vegas is justified. TCU 28, Gophers 17

I'm confused by this line. So far the only team TCU has played is Samford. I have some game highlights:

Oops, I guess that was the wrong tape. Anyway, I'm hardly convinced that TCU is two touchdowns better than the Gophers, whether Leidner is available or not. It will be a low-scoring game, old school, even. TCU 17, Gophers 13.

Iowa State Cyclones (+11) vs. Iowa Hawkeyes. No Badgers this week, so we'll turn our attention to the state I must cross to get to my new alma mater! This game is a grudge match and Iowa is a team favored to win the West in my eyes but Ball State should not be a challenge. Iowa needs this one but once again I sense ISU is looking for a soft target and the bitter memories of losing to NDSU will linger for them. Time to take out some frustrations for the Cyclones. ISU 35, Iowa 7.

So Iowa can barely beat Ball State, but they're 11 points better than the Cyclones? Really. I find that difficult to believe. The Cyclones got beat badly by the NoDak State Bison, but that's not surprising. I think it's going to be pretty close, actually. Iowa 24, Iowa State 21.

Knox College Prairie Fire (NL) vs. Carleton College Knights. Yes, it's time for more red-hot Prairie Fire action! Knox is a good school populated by great people. However, the Fire are looking good led by Matt McCathry, who is a freshman quarterback who looked very good against Eureka. Carleton is good but once again if Knox is putting me up for 4 years, might as well pick em. Knox 32, Carleton 18.

This will be a true intellectual showdown between two schools with that aren't exactly known for football prowess. I'm very happy that you've settled in at Knox, but they aren't gonna win up in Northfield. At least take solace in this -- it would have been worse if they'd played St. Olaf. Carleton 33, Knox 21. 

Bear Down Chicago da Bearz (+7) vs. San Francisco Harbaughs. So da Bearz are the team that gets to debut against the 49ers in their new facility, Levi's Stadium. To honor the event, 49ers coach and all-around jerk Jim Harbaugh has chosen to wear bad looking khakis to show his appreciation for the corporate sponsor:

That's a tremendous look there, Jim. Harbaugh is going to attack Conte because Conte has a tendency to freeze during big moments. However, Jay Cutler will not have to deal with Navarro Bowman and Justin Smith. With no Donte Whitner in the building, look for the Bears to attack at will and ruin the festivities. da Bearz 13, D-Bags 6.

While I think it appropriate to pick on Jim Harbaugh's pants, the problem the Bears had was the way they got undressed in their own building last week. Did you see Fred Jackson lower the boom? It was brutal. The Bears will need to get better quickly, or get buried. Harbaugh's pants are good for grave digging, too. 49ers 31, Bears 24.

New England Patriots (-3) vs. Minnesota Vikings.  I'll be honest -- I don't know what Adrian Peterson did, or if his attempt at disciplining his son turned out to cross a line, but he's not playing on Sunday, so it's going to be tough. They looked very good and the Vikings can win without Peterson. Sweaterman Belichick is a master coach but how do you stop Cordarrelle Patterson? Special players change the game, plain and simple. Vikes 31, Pats 24

Tom Brady needs to get things back to normal. The Vikings didn't get much of a test last week. This week is very different. We'll find out if Matt Asiata and Jerick McKinnon can play. If they can't, the Vikes will be one dimensional. Bill Belichick eats one dimensional teams for lunch. Patriots 31, Vikings 16.

New York J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS (+8.5) vs. Glorious Green Bay Packers. The Packers have had a few extra days to dwell on their loss in Seattle. Geno Smith is a similar quarterback to Russell Wilson and the Jets are a sneaky team. However, the Packers have the advantage of extra preparation time, which is a huge edge in my eyes and Aaron Rodgers is right that even though the sky is falling around them, they are just fine inside. Packers 45, Jets 17.

This game makes me nervous. I don't know that the Jets can do what the Seahawks did, but they can run the football and they do play hard-nosed defense. It's not going to be an easy game at all for the Packers, but I think they'll prevail. Packers 24, Jets 17.

Well, that's all I have for now. I think it's going to be a lot of fun at Knox. But I already know football, baby! Ben out!