Favre the Ted Thompson Gunner

Apologies to Warren Zevon:

Brett Favre was a warrior from the Land of Hattiesburg
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting was the word
The deal was made with Ron Wolf on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Fox Valley to join the bloody fray

Through ninety-six and seven they fought the NFC war
Fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Niners to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the heads of cheese

Brett Favre the Thompson gunner...

His comrades fought beside him - Ted Thompson and the rest
But of all Ted Thompson's gunners, Brett Favre was the best
So the NFL decided they wanted Brett Favre dead
That son-of-a-bitch Ted Thompson blew off Brett Favre's head

Brett Favre the headless Ted Thompson gunner (Time, time, time
For another peaceful war
Green Bay's bravest son But time stands still for Brett Favre
'Til he evens up the score)
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the klieg lights of ESPN
In the klieg lights of ESPN

Brett Favre searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Milwaukee in a barroom drinking gin
Brett Favre aimed his Ted Thompson gun - he didn't say a word
But he blew all credibility from there to Hattiesburg

Brett Favre the headless Ted Thompson gunner...

The eternal Ted Thompson gunner, still wandering through the night
Now it's two years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Maplewood, in Hopkins, in Inver Grove and Fridley
Ziggy Wilf heard the burst of Favre's Ted Thompson gun
And bought it