Maria is in the neighborhood

Hey folks! As you can see, I am part of our lovely neighborhood here at Mr. Dilettante's Neighborhood. First, I'm going to do my normal post, so here it is!

Here are our upcoming events.

School. I'm going into the 4th grade this year. I don't know who my teacher is yet, because they never tell us that until the last day of August or the first day of September. So that is one big fat ?

Anyway, before school starts I'm going to this art camp thing in Roseville and my 2-week park program thing in Arden Hills. Dad says I'm making a real tour of the northern suburbs. Not that he would know, because Mom usually takes me.

And our last upcoming event is our vacation to. . . Kansas City

This should be fun, since we will go to the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, the American Jazz Museum, a Twins game against the Royals at "The K," as my brother the Benster says. That's all good, but what's really good is that we'll go to:

Worlds of Fun Amusement Park!!!!!!!!!!!!

They have tons and tons of rides and probably some food or something and, guess what? They even have one of those wooden roller coaster thingies, or whatever Mom and Dad used to drool over a couple thousand years ago! If Mom and Dad get their way, we might also go see the Harry Truman Library. Truman was president before Dad was born, so that must have been a really long time ago, maybe a triple thousand years ago! I'm not sure, though -- we may need to send out Indiana Jones to check those old bones!

Now, for our pastcoming events! Cool, I made a new word! People, add it to your dictionary!

Anyways, in the past I was born. Just kidding! Well, I was born, but we won't go that far back. Well, I've had an awesome summer and I went to the grocery store about 3 trillion times, but that's not so awesome. I've had plenty of sleepovers with my friends and stuff like that and it was the best week ever when the Benster went to Camp-enster and I had some fun-enster! Cool, now I'm Doctor Suess!

And now, finally for our presentcoming events!

Things that are happening right now -- I am doing this post. And tomorrow I will march in the New Brighton Stockyard Days Parade with the rest of my Junior Girl Scout buddies. So keep a look out for me and I might throw some candy at you!

And now for our last part of the post -- Maria's Joke Corner! In this part of my post I will tell jokes that I made up myself. Well, most of them, anyway. And most of these ones in this post are my own.

First, I decided to make up my very own Chuck Norris joke. I hear those are pretty popular.

When Chuck Norris drinks milk, the whole world is safe. Too bad Chuck Norris is lactose intolerant. And my dad says that means lactose is in a whole lot of trouble.

Now for a pun -- what kind of walks do horses go on? Neigh-ture walks!

Now, let's tell a Gino joke! Gino's relatives came to visit and they saw that his room was full of Bears posters. So for his birthday they gave him some honey and some stuff to keep the bees away!

And now I'll do one that Ben made up (or stole from somebody else). What movie does a dentist watch? Plaque to the Future!

That's it for my first post -- remember, Maria is in the neighborhood! See ya!